Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Come home

Why does friendship have to be so hard? I mean seriously. It's not that hard to be nice to somebody. That's how friends are made. When you're nice to somebody you just grow this friendship. I've had quite a few best friends. Strangely, all of them have ended and I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I learn all about them and we just seem like we have this unbreakable bond and somehow thT bond gets broken and crushed. When I was in kindergarten I had Guinee. I don't remember much about her but I know we had that bond. I moved away and we never spoke again. Some friends, huh? When I was in first grade I had Logan. He was probably the only thing I remember from my childhood. We literally played every single day. He was a ray of sunshine. We always caught a bunch of caterpillars in the woods and we swam and played on the slip and slide. We sled down the driveway when it was summer. It was amazing. Then I moved away and I never saw him again. I don't remember his last name or I would find him on facebook. Third grade I had Brandon but now he's a huge dick, it's strange how people change. Fourth grade I had Emily. I was the worst best friend to her. I was always mean to her but she was still my best friend. I finally realized how terrible I was when I saw her again in seventh grade and she gave me a fake phone number but when I got a real number from other people she told me to never call again. In fifth, sixth, and seventh grade I had Lizzie. None of that matters now cause she hates me. I don't even know why. Eighth grade I had Amber. She's a great person but we don't talk much anymore cause she moved in with her mother. I haven't seen her since last July. In ninth grade I had Aaron. That was a huge mistake. He's a dick to me now. Then there was Alex. The single most greatest friend I have ever had. We shared secrets. We made fun of all the people who thought we were friends with them. We judged who the biggest whores in school were. We had classes together and we always got yelled at for talking so much. We shared our personal thoughts and told each other every little thing that we each did over the weekend and who he kissed and what me and Kevin did and everything. We cried together. I told him eveything. I even got multiple hugs everyday. He was the best. He was Greek. Maybe all Greeks are that amazing. He was hilarious and sweet and complimented me. Then there was that incident at the end of last year. His aunt made him leave to this weird private school in Oklahoma. I didn't heard from him for a year. His birthday was the first day of school and I was so excited to see him and share what we did over the summer, but he was gone. I didn't know where he went. His sister was still at school though. I thought something happened. Then about five months ago he showed up at school and I saw him in the doorway of my sewing class trying to get my attention. I ran up to him and gave him the biggest hug and I started crying. He was alive. It was like he fell off the face of the earth. We walked around for a while until he had to leave. He told me he was going back to Oklahoma at the end of the week and he didn't know when he would be back. We made plans to call each other. We talked a few times on the phone and we even made plans to hang out on Friday before he had to leave. Then on that Friday I called about thirty times literally. No answer any time. He had left early and I never got to see him. I haven't seen him siince that day in school and I have a feeling that I will never see or talk to him again. I was so mad, I ripped up his number to try and forget him instead of having that constant reminder that I got stood up. But the truth is is that I will never forget about him. He was the most amazing friend that I will ever have. There will never be another Alex. I've had dreams about him and ive been crying every night for the last week. I miss him so much. Its almost as if he died. When he left he took a piece of me with him and I will never forget him. Right now I guess Taylor is my best friend but he will never be alex. I've been having a hard time trying to realize that though. We've been best friends all year and guess what? No hugs. How can he be my best friend if he doesn't hug me? That's insane. Taylor is like a different life form. He shuts off all emotions and doesn't open up to no one. I wish he would realize that he can trust me and open up to me. He can show me his feelings. I know he will never show me he has emotions though. I don't even know what he considers me. It's like I'm just his best friend's girlfriend. Or just a friend. I dint want to be just a friend. I want to be his best friend that he tells everything to. I want him to be my Alex. I want daily hugs and I want to make fun of our friends with him. I want him to cry in front of me like Alex did. I want him to hug me when I cry like Alex did. The truth is is that I dint want another best friend. I want Alex back. I want my best friend. Alex ruined all the other potential best friends for me. He was the best, and I'll never see him again.

Monday, January 2, 2012


I had a dream last night that I actually had a thriving blog and I posted all the time. I guess that didn't come true...

Monday, October 10, 2011

100th post spectacular?

First of all, I would like to give you all my sincere apologies. I didn't mean to hold this off for so long. I made all of these special plans for this post but honestly, I was scared to write. I was afraid that o wouldn't make my 100th post special enough, but in all reality, it's not that special. Most of all the other blogs I've ever seen has long over 100 posts. It's quite sad that in over a year and a half in only have 100 posts. I mean. I'm a teenager. I'm busy, but I couldn't make the time to write more. I only write when I have a rant, I'm bored, or depressed. I guess you can say I have writers block syndrome but it's not that I don't want to write, I just don't have enough to write about. I'm sure you don't want me to talk about Kevin all the time because I hate it when my friends talk about their significant other all the time and I'm sure you do too. I realize that I shouldn't keep putting my 100th post off. I was scared to write it, but I really need to get it over with. I've put it off for over two months now, and that's the longest I've gone without blogging. I did have a lot to say, I just couldn't because I wanted it all to be on different posts, and not on my 100th post. I shouldn't fear letting you all down. I mean, if you actually take the time to read all of the other posts I make, then you'll probably read this one even if it's not all that special. Man, I have so much to say.
Before I catch up with my fellow readers, I would like to give Noah credit for inspiring me to write. Yesterday i was looking around Facebook and I came across his page so I was reading his info and stuff, and on his info is probably the most amazing poem I have ever read in my entire life. It's really outstanding. I would like to put it on here so all of you can see how great it is, but I'd have to ask him permission first. But after I read his poem, it was so outstanding that I asked him if he wrote it and that it's incredible. After that we started to talk and I found out that he writes a lot but he's had writers block for a few months now. Of course that reminded me of myself for blogging. He told me that he really wants to write more but he can't seem to ink of anything to write about. That hit me that if he can write such amazing poems and then have writers block but have the hope to start again, I should have to hope to start blogging again. So thank you Noah for inspiring me to keep writing.
Here's a confession. In those two months of having writers block, I contemplated on making my 100th post my last. I started to think that people never reads it, and I never write anything good enough to read anyways. I started doubting all hope that maybe, if I write on here, somebody might actually pay attention to me and start hearing what I have to say. Let's face it. I'm a shy girl. I don't talk at school, I can't confront anybody. I have trouble expressing myself and I can't come across the realization that It won't hurt anything for me to just start talking to someone. Maybe it will help me make friends, but I just don't have the courage and confidence in me talk to somebody. So if I write on here and express myself through writing, I may have the chance that my words might affect somebody, anybody. I forgot how good I felt when I saw how many people are visiting my blog. I mean, if you look on the side of my page, there's a ticker and it shows how many people have visited my blog. I have over 1500 views. That may not seem like a lot to you, but it means a lot to me. It doesn't matter if 500 of those views are some of the same people over and over again. The point is that people are reading this. I hope to one day have more than that, but for right now, that's good. I've never spoken to over 1500 people in my life, but knowing that that many people has read my words, gives me a tingly feeling. So no. This isn't my last post. Instead of making this my post post, let's make it a new beginning. That's why I have changed the title of my blog on the address bar.
My blog used to be titled "thescreamoemo" for The Screamo Emo. But that's not who I am. That's who I wanted to be two years ago. Yeah, I listened to screamo. Now, most of it gives me a headache. Yeah, I had emo bangs for a year. They were a bad idea. But I never once felt emo. I've always been optimistic. I've always had the power to look around the big picture and analyze every piece of it. But I rarely feel 'emo'. And for the record, I've never cut myself. I know that's a stereotype, but I though I should mention that. But I changed the title. People change. I change. When I realize I've changed, I should change the name of it. Everybody changes. Nothing can stay the exact same forever. I changed my title to "1stepback6stepsforward" or one step back, six steps forward. There's a meaning behind everything. It basically means that the little bad things in life may pull me one step back, so it won't effect me much, but the big things in life, the things that really matter. Now that put me six steps forward. Don't worry about the little things. The big things are what really count in life. Don't let the little things effect you, because I'm not going to let them effect me. I'm going to keep moving forward. Sure, I'll keep changing, but I'll also find who I REALLY am by it.

So aside from all of the deep stuff, there's been other stuff going on also.
Like for instance, homecoming was on September 24th. It was really great. I don't have pictures right this moment because they're on Kevin's camera. I slept till 5 that day and I had to wake up and hurry to get ready.
I know my last post was before school started but I don't feel the need to tell you every boring detail of my school experience. It's going good, though.
I also have a job. My sister got me a Job her Mcdonalds since she's hiring manager. It's going really good. I've almost learned everyone's names and everyone's pretty nice to me. I've learned all of the man's jobs. I love grill and back wall. Back wall is where we make all of the chicken and fish and grill is where we make the burgers and bacon. It's simple, but you get burnt at least 500 times before the day is over. Not kidding. But I've also learned fries, hash browns, I can also make everything up front except ice cream cones. Damn cones.... I learned front counter too, but let's not even go there. That was the first time I've cried from work, so let's not talk about that. It's a fun job, it just makes my feet want to explode. You'd think it's easy since it's Mcdonalds, but it's not easy at all. But hey, I'll get used to it.
Home is going good too, seeing as I'm never home anymore. That's a good thing.
Me and Kevin's year and a half was last Friday on the 30th. That was nice. We just hung out, but spending time with him is great.
I had all of these plans on what I'd write in here, but I can't really think of anything right now. I wrote this huge thing on who I am, but when Kevin read it he cried, so I don't know what I did with it. I think I threw it away, but it was really good.
So I realized that no matter what I do right now, I'll regret it in the future. Like how I act, dress, say. I'll regret something.this back in time. You probably thought that hair style was a good idea. Nope. It wasn't. I know I think that all the time. When I was little I have straight across my forehead bangs and I always wore my hair in piggy tails. Bad idea. Middle school I have a middle part. Very bad Idea. I also always thought it looked attractive if I braided my whole head after getting out of the shower then letting them out in the morning and wear my hair looking like a poof ball. Bad idea. I also regret my emo bangs. I always got made fun of because of it. Bad idea. I regret wearing cat ears all the time last time even though I thought they were the cutest things and getting meowed at in the hall was a compliment. Nope. They were mocking me. Looking back at it, I couldve done without them. Bad idea. The clothes I used to wear. Bad idea. No matter what you do in your life, in the future, you'll look back at it and regret it. You're supposed to live with no regrets but your mind is changing all the time so what you think is cute now, may be a bad idea looking back at it in the future. It's also like smoking, drinking, and doing drugs. You may think it's cool now, but you'll regret it in the future. Probably when you get lung cancer. In freshmen year, I thought it was cool to fail my classes. Bad idea. I regret it and I'm still trying to make it all up now. I'm mostly caught up, but I regret it. I regret lying to my friends and family. I regret my entire seventh grade year. That probably my most biggest regret that will never go away. I regret all of the crushes I had in middle school. I regret being a tattle tail. I regret feeding my hamster a vanilla wafer. I regret telling my best friends new friend to stay away from her. I regret losing contact with all of my old friends. I regret not calling Alex over the summer when I should have. I regret playfully telling Kevin I hate him when he was tickling me over a year ago. I regret getting in a bike accident because I told my cousin im faster than him and I ended up with a sprained arm and a ganglion cyst. I regret most of the things I've told my parents. I regret not building a relationship with my parents and not being close to them now. I regret telling my best friend's sister a whore and now she hates me. I regret telling everyone she probably has aids because she's been with so many guys. I regret not doing my homework today. I regret deleting all the pictures from my camera. I regret eating in the living and spilling blazing hot oatmeal all over me from it. I regret being a cry baby. I regret buying a new ds and then not playing with it. I regret not cleaning my hamsters cage as much as they needed it. I regret not watching my weight.
The point is, is that you will regret things in your life no matter what you do to try and not regret nothing. I always try not to regret anything, but I still do. But don't go and make mistakes that you know you will regret. I know I will never regret being against drugs, smoking and drugs. I will never regret being a pacifist. I will never regret being atheist. I will never regret not cussing.
You can't live with no regret, but you can make good choices in life.

I don't really have anything else for you all. I don't think I made this post as long as I wanted, but hey, I finally finished my 100th post and I won't regret not giving up on blogging.

Until next time.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Where oh where, did my summer go?


School starts in three days! What the hell! It went by so quickly! Well, I'm ready. Today was the schools open house and we got our schedules Debbie came and got me so I could go with Kevin. We got there even before open house started which was good. I have emotionally prepared myself to see anybody. Though I did look super cute. But I got my schedule and I'm very content with my schedule. I was able to talk to the guidance counselor and got switched out of band. That's perfect. I don't want in band! I'm happy I'm out of it. And also, NO MORE FRENCH! I'm so happy I don't have to ever speak that devil language again. So I have good classes. Plus I have parenting! Woo! I have three classes with Kevin this year. And lunch together! I'm happy I get to see him a bunch since it's his senior year. Im kinda excited for school to start. Other than the fact I haven't got any supplies or clothes yet, but it's cool.

Also, Kevin, Debbie, Kevin and me are going to Kings Island tomorrow which should be fun. And hot.

Also, I really miss Amber. We haven't spoke to each other in a month. I don't know what happened.... I guess she doesn't want to talk to me. I've been waiting for her to call me but I guess she won't. I don't want to call her, cause it'll be awkward. But I really do miss her. I absolutely refuse to ever go over there if her sister's there. I know Amber is my best friend, but if it means not seeing her again, then I won't see her again. I'd rather sleep on a bed of nails than be at their house when Amanda is there. I want Amber to come over here, but we live too far away from each other. I can't go over there though. It's a long story.
Long story: so, ever since last December, Amanda has hates my guts. Ever since she started going out with Aaron. My theory is that she started hating me because Aaron of course, liked me. Before they started going out. So of course, she can't be friends with me. We used to be close though. Now, all she does is call me a whore and a cunt. Sorry honey, but I don't whip around my vagina for every guy to test out. I'm being dead serious when I say this, Amanda has literally been with over 100 guys. She used to have a new one every week. Seriously. I've known her for a long time, and I know she's been around. So she has no room calling me a whore. I'm sorry, but I'd rather bot have to deal with that. I don't want that kind of stuff in my life, and if that means not seeing Amber, then so be it. Amanda is only fourteen. And I can almost promise you, that she will be pregnant before shes seventeen. Make room on 16 and pregnant, cause here comes another one. She's only 14, and she's been around the block and back. I'm not calling her a whore, because I have more class than that. I'm just saying. That she has no room to call me a whore when Kevin is my first boyfriend and my first love. And I know we're going to stay together. So I'd rather not get called a whore from her all the time.
I'm hoping to make a bunch of new friends this year. I hope I ca, but I'm a really shy girl. I keep working on my 100th post because I want it to be special.

Man, I love my lovely lover <3

And just for the hell of it, and because I'm listening to music, I'm going to do one of these.


Two birds, one stone. -Drop dead, gorgeous-
Growing up. -Fall out Boy
I slept with someone in Fall out boy and all I got was this song written about me
Grand Theft Autumn. -FOB-
Horseshoes and Handgrenades. -Greenday-
Come home. -Eyes set to Kill-
Broken Frames. -ESTK-
Peacemaker. -Greenday-
Bound and Gagged. -Creature Feature-
WHAT IS 2+2?
American Eulogy. -Greenday-
The pros and cons of breathing. -FOB-
Reverse this Curse. -Escape the Fate-
The meek shall inherit the earth. -Creature Feature-
The take over, the breaks over. -FOB-
Situations. -Escape the Fate-
This ain't a scene, it's an arms race. -FOB-
Liar, liar. -NeverShoutNever- Well that's not very nice....
West Coast Smoker. -FOB-
Our lawyer made us change the name of this song so we won't get sued. -FOB-
Reinventing the wheel to run over myself. -FOB-
American Idiot. -Greenday-

I'm sorry, I wanted that to be funnier. The only one I really laughed at was Bound and Gagged. I could've cheated and made it more funnier, but what's the fun in that?

This is post #99

Friday, August 5, 2011

Day 5: Last Day

So yesterday was alright. We all slept in so I didn't wake up til eleven. Then we went out for brunch at Hardees. Eh, ive had better. After that we went back to the room and then went down to the beach and swam and stuff. Then later we went out to eat again at Tacky Jacks. It was alright. The root beer tasted weird and stuff. The ranch was good though. Then I kissed a fish and made a wish. Long story. We went back to the room and went swimming one last time. We met a bunch of dudes from Ohio. Then we all had to go to bed. I attempted to stay up til four so I could sleep the whole way there but i ended up going to bed at two. When I woke up it was time to go. All of the stuff was packed cause we packed last night. The car ride home was long and boring.vwhat really sucks is that my phone ran out of minutes Ruhr before we gotm the car and left. So I had to go all day without talking to my lover. But I slept for 500 miles so that's good.
Now, I'm In Ohio and we're all unpacked. I'm happy I'm back though. Kitty is just fine. She's happy we're home and we're getting Coby tomorrow morning. Im also going to Kevin's tomorrow. I can't wait to see him. I miss him! Alabama was nice though. I can start sleeping in again. I have a lot of pictures for you, but they're on my phone and I can't send them to my email until i get minutes. You can wait, right?

Day 4: Angry Putt Putt

So on Wednesday we went to Putt Putt golf. I'm sure we did stuff during the day, too, but apparently nothing worth remembering. So at night we went to putt putt. It was stupid. We had a million people behind us the whole time and everybody rushed me. I think it's stupid cause we were there first, and first come first serve. It was no fun cause we were being rushed. It's no fun if half of your group is on one hole and half is on another. Well in the end is was disgusting outside the whole time and it was no fun. So we went out for ice cream. The dairy queen there sucked. I asked for extra cookie doughcand I got about ten pieces in the whole thong. They also don't have chocolate ice cream! That's crazy. After we got back, daddyvand me went down to the ocean and found a bunch of shells. Yeah, it was a boring day.
I'm almost to my 100th post. Maybe I'll make a really long post in honor of the crap I write on here. But hey, if you're reading this, thanks for actually paying attention to my blog. It really does mean a lot.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011


Ahhh, Vacation.
It's the time for sleeping, relaxing in the beach, eating junkvfood like there is no tomorrow, sleeping all day, drinking until you pass out, staying up all night, partying, swimming, acting stupid, and of course, taking it easy.
I'm probably being stereotypical when I call the, whores, but hey, it's my post, I'll call them what I want.
So I have realized what I hate most of all about vacation.
You know the type..
The girls wthat where the itty bitty bikinis and flaunt what they have, or what they don't have with all their soul. The kind of bathing suits that barely cover anything. I absolutely hate those people. And don't say I just don't like them cause I'm jealous. Ha, you're funny. I'm almost a D cup. I'm just fine with my body. I just don't go around in public with all my junk hanging out. I find those people disgusting. COVER UP. Seriously, nobody wants to see that. I know they would never believe me, but it's true. Nobody wants to see your tits, or your couchy. If you wear one of these tiny things, you are basically screaming that you're a whore and you want to get laid. I mean, if that's really what you want people to think about you, go ahead and wear it. But I'm also talking about the whores that wear their bikini wherever they go. like, as clothes. It's not doing you any good to walk around half naked. Most likely you're going to get pregnant and you have some sex disease. HERPES.
Sorry for my rant and direct criticism. But Damn! I think Bikinis should be illegal for something. I hate them. I could wear one, I just don't. They're disgusting.
But thanks for listening to my rant.
Don't leave any stupid ass comments. I will delete them if they're dumb.

Day 3: Dolphin Cruise

So we all got woken up at some crazy hour in the morning. It was about six. Nobody should even be alive at six. Well it was just me, my mom, and Eddy awake then. I hurried up and got dressed and went out of the balcony. Nobody was down at the beach, so I grabbed the bag of popcorn and went down to the beach. I saw a Seagull and I threw a piece up. It came down and caught it. More and more of them appeared. The would fly right above my head for a piece and fight each other for them. It was cute. It started with one and it ended up being around fifty at the end. They love me. Same thing tomorrow, guys? I think so. We picked up more bags of popcorn cause I had fun. So after everybody woke up, we left and went to Waffle House. We had breakfast there and soon left to this Harbor. We went on a Dolphin Cruise. I've never seen so many Dolphins in my life and I've been on about three other Dolphin Cruises. There was one that had a baby next to it! So I filmed about ten minutes worth of dolphins and gave up with the video camera. The cruise ended up being two and a half hours long. It was interesting. It was worth fifteen bucks. When we got back home, we all took naps, of course! Yeah my nap was about four hours long. It felt great. After I woke up, supper was almost done. We had chili. It was good. Before it was done, my mom and me went to the store and picked up some stuff. Everybody had planned on drinking tonight, so we had to pick up something for me to drink. I may be sixteen, but even when I'm of legal age, I still won't ever drink alcohol. Gross. So we got those root beer bottles that look like beer. I felt like I was cool. When we got back we ate. Afterwards we all drank and went swimming. Then robin, daddy, and me went to the store and Robin got her airbrush shirt thing filled out and she has to pick it up tomorrow. I also got Kevin's daddy an ash tray. I'd feel bad if I went home empty handed with Debbie and Kevin something but not big Kevin anything. So I got this really cute ash tray for him. I don't know much about him so it's hard to get something for him. All I know is that he likes cars and smoking. We also baked cookies. They turned out alright. A little hard, but oh well. I think we're going putt putting tomorrow. I hate golfing. It make me angry. Kevin found that out the hard way.
So I should be starting my period sometime soon, hopefully. It has a crazy schedule.
I should probably start my summer reading soon. Hell, I'm on vacation!
I really like it here.
I also love my boyfriend. I feel like I don't say that enough in my posts.
I want a child! Really bad!
Maybe I'll sleep in tomorrow :3
Sleeping in doesn't exist on vacation.
I miss my cat:( I hope she's doing okay...
For a Tuesday, I think it was alright.
Only two more days here. But I miss my boyfriend. So I need to get back before I go crazy from love withdrawal.
New post tomorrow!

Day 2: Outlet Mall

Sorry for the delay in this post. The stupid Wifi stopped working yesterday. I will talk about yesterday.
So yesterday was a pretty good day. I woke up fairly early but I didn't get to see Dolphines. We had breakfast and then I feel right back asleep. So far, everyday of this vacation, I took a nap. After I woke up, and everybody else did, we all went to the Outlet mall. Everybody else has been taking a nap everyday too. The mall was pretty stupid. There were a heck of a lot of stores, but I didn't get one thing there. We all got ice cream, but that doesn't count. We were there for about two hours. It was also raining really hard and we spotted funnel clouds. Scary stuff. At about five thirty we went to Applebees and had dinner. It was really good. We were the only people there. On our way back from Applebees we stopped off at the little tourist stores that are fun. I was on a hunt for those surfer dude necklaces that have the beads and the shark tooth. I finally found one that'll look soooooo sexy on Kevin. Mmmm! I can't wait to see it on him.... Shirtless! Ive been talking about it a lot too. About how sexy he's gonna look. I mean, he's already flippin sexy as he'll but I thinkthe necklace will look great on him. I also got Debbie a box of Salt water taffy cause I know how much she likes that. After we got back, we relaxed a bunch and I got naked. It's too hot for clothes! Pshhh. What are clothes? Well after a while I put back on my clothes and walked around. I walked down to the beach for a little bit but I'm not too sure why, or at least I think I walked down to the beach. Maybe if the wifi worked yesterday my memory would have been fresher. Later on i took a shower. Not too interesting. A little bit later, Robin had me govwith her down the street to the stores. She tried on about fifty bikinis and i had to help her pick one out. My feet hurt real bad after that. Later that night me and Robin heard noises in our condo. No, it wasn't the people next door. It was too vivid and clear for it to be anywhere but somewhere in here. After we heard a big noise, we heard little noises after that. We got scared and Robin told me to come in her bed. After a while, we grew the balls and got up. We searched the bathroom first and for weapons, I had the straightener in my hands and robin had the hair dryer, cause you know, if the killer had a gun, we straighten him to death. He'd be no match for our scary hair dryer. After we searched the condo, we went to bed.

Sunday, July 31, 2011

Day 1: Rough Morning

So I'm already making my families lives miserable. I don't mean to, it's not my fault they hate me. So right now everybody but me and my father are out getting breakfst. I set my alarm for seven. I didn't get woken up by it until eight. I'm the only one who set an alarm, and I was the last one up. So when i woke up, everybody was watching dolphins out on the balcony. I had to run and get a shower really quick. After I got out, the dolphins were gone. That sucks. But what really sucks is that everybody was rubbing it in to me that they saw a dolphin show. Not even ten minutes after my shower, my mom was yelli at me that I'm not ready yet. What the hell! I had just gotten out of the shower! So then everybody else was up my butt about me not being ready. I set an alarm! It's not my fault I wasn't awoken by it! So then I went And blow dried my hair, and straightened it. Then by then, Ed and Darlene already left for breakfast. My mom was laying in her bed and daddy was o the couch. I went to sit on the chair and robin came out and threw a fit that everybody was just laying around. Mommy and her threw a fit together and left. By then daddy was pissed and was yelling at me about how miserable I make his life and how we are just gonna go home today. I'm just a teenager! I didn't do anything and everybody was at my throat with knives. So daddy yelled at me for about five minutes and then he forced my downstairs and to the car. Of course, I was balling my eyes out the whole time and my face was blood red. By the time we got to the car, he yelled at me some more about he's not going anywhere with me while I'm crying. He ran inside and I was just standing there, crying my eyes out in the parking lot. Then I went down to the beach and cried for twenty minutes. Walked down it, and then came back. I haven't said a word to him but he told me that we can go out and get breakfast. What the hell! You just patronized me and now you'll take me to breakfast? I don't play thAtt crap! But yeah, that's how my morning went. Great.

Saturday, July 30, 2011


For those who read my blog frequently, you should of known that we were going to Alabama. Well here I am in the hotel lobby, stealing their wifi, waiting to get back on the road. The hotel we stayed in last night was very nice and clean. And it has an indoor heated pool thatsnopen all hours. We are about to get back on the road. We are right across the Alabama border so we're not far into in and wehave about six hours left till we get to the beach. The road trip so far has been alright. I've been sleeping off and on and listening to music. I'm so happy this hotel has free wifi so I can update you all. If the condo that we're staying in has wifi, I will post day to day about my time here. So far, it's hot. Last night we drove around and around for a place to eat. We finally stopped at Ruby Tuesdays and it sucked. The food, it was alright. Nothing special. Worse than that, my dad stormed out angry after his food took an hour to cook and everybody else was already done eating. Also, they gave me a tiny little palette for ranch. Tiny thing. I eat a lot of ranch with my chicken and fries. The guy hardly ever checked on us so I couldn't ask for more. I tried going up to the salad bar and getting my own and I ended up with blue cheese! Gross! Afterwards we went to a hotel across the street. No vacancy. Next hotel, we waited in for twenty minutes for the lady at the front counter to come by, and then we found out there was no vacancy. Then we stopped at this nasty hotel. Ugh! I told everybody it looked dirty but nobody believed me. It was called CountryHearth. Never go to that hotel. We got to our room, and the whole room smelled like urine. The chairs were badly stained, the sheets were stained, the floor was a mess, I found some guys shirt under our mattress! It was disgusting! Worse than that, we were almost chain there are bed bugs in there! Ugh. So we got our money back and went to this lovely little Comfort Inn. It's Percy. 24/7 heated indoor pool. Really nice clean rooms, free breakfast buffet, free wifi, exercise room. It was nice. Plus, I didn't find a strange shirt under my mattress!
Well, we're about to leave here, I'll update later on about my day today, if there's Wifi!

Sunday, July 24, 2011

I should probably update my blog...

So, If I don't blog soon, I'm going to lose readers. Hello world, its been a while.
Last time I posted, it was before my birthday. Well, I'm 16 now. Yay? I didn't have a party, like most sweet 16 ers. Debbie and Kevin took me out. It was great. It was really fun. We went mini golfing and go carting. We watched fireworks and had a lot of fun.
I am blogging from the comfort of my bed at this moment. I got a wireless router for my birthday and now my IPad is a computer. I'm addicted to it. I also bought a deck of Magic: The Gathering cards and a deck builders toolkit. The weekend after my birthday weekend, last weekend, my sister and I dog sitted at her friend's house so we stayed there ll weekend it was fun. I hung out with Amber cause Robins friend lives in the same trailer park.
My family and I are leaving for our vacation on Alabama this Friday. I'm kinda excited. I'll take some pictures.
How are Kevin and I? Amazing as always. I do love my Kevin. I've noticed that all the other couples in my school are breaking up. That makes me happy cause Kevin and I are not going to break up. So all the other couples are breaking up and me and Kevin keep getting closer. We're closer than ever lately. I'm not too sure what else I should say.
Well, that's all for right now.
Oh yeah, and also, June 30th was just about the best day of my life. <3

Monday, June 27, 2011


First off, I would like to start off this post my saying sorry. I was all depressing earlier when I posted that post. I don't think my love life is down the drain and my relationship with Kevin is amazing as always. We have rough patches sometimes but we get through it stronger than we went in it. But anyways, Kevin and I are perfect. He doesn't look at other girls, only me. He thinks my new bangs are cute just as the last ones. We're perfect, so be jealous of our perfectness. I was surprised and happy that he remembered when I told him that true love never dies. I'm happy that I don't have to worry about him remarrying cause he won't . Also, I have a latest picture of me from the last day of school. I already put the words "Will you be my friend?: On it or I would put www.thescreamoemo.blogspot.com on it. By the way, I hear that blog is pretty good :P It makes me happy when I get a comment or a follower, but I haven't got either for a while. Here's some questions you could answer in your comment :3

What do you think my next post should be about?
What do you want to know about me?
Name a word you made up and what it means.
Is it considered Necrophilia if it's a Zombie?

Thursday, June 23, 2011



It's been a while since I last posted, which I feel bad about. I'm sorry. I'm not sure what I last posted about.

This time, I'm just gonna mope around on this post.

I'm kinda depressed right now. I'm turning 16 in 16 days. Like every other normal sweet 16 person, I want a party. Unfortunately, I can't have a party. Wanna know why? I'm lame! I have no friends. I have a couple, but eh. I can't have a party for 3 people. I have Kevin of course, and Amber. Maybe Alex but I have no way to contact him. Pancake, I also have no way to contact him. Kevin's family are more of my family than friends so yeah... I can't party with my grandma on my 16th birthday. That's stupid. My original plans were to go to the beach waterpark with Kevin. But I hate going to swimsuit places with him. IT makes me uncmfortable. How do I know he's not checking them out or staring at their tits? I look terrible in a bathing suit cause it's a one piece with no clevage. I hate my stomach so I never show it. We all know how guys are around bikini babes. So those plans got shut down cause I really don't feel like feeling insecure on my own birthday that's supposed to be all about me. I trust him, I really do. But he says he's "Looking at them in disgust". He says he only has eyes for me so he shouldn't be looking at them in the first place, but he still looks at them. Which that make me feel like crap also. I'm just having a terrible week.
1. I can't do crap for my birthday.
2. I almost lost Amber as a friend.
3. Kevin says he likes my old emo bangs better than my newest bangs that I think fits me a whole lot better.
4. Kevin says he always look at girls.
5. I keep thinking about me dying and about how he'll probably remarry if I die and I hate that idea.
6. I keep thinking about how gross I am.

I feel like my love life is down the drain. I feel like some hot girl is gonna come and steal Kevin away from me. I just feel like crap. He says stuff that really bugs me sometimes. I'm in a depressed mood. I wish I could scream, but I'm not gonna. I guess I just have to wait it out. Maybe Kevin will say cute stuff to me to make me cheer up. I just can't help but wanna cry when I think of him looking at other girls. I always tell him not too, but he does it anyways. And he wonders why I always feel insecure. Huh. I just want to be treated like a princess like any girl should. Oh well. Life's a bitch.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Amber's house?

So I went to Amber's house over the weekend. It was great. I had a lot of fun(: we didn't do much though. We mainly just watched the game show channel all weekend but that was great. It was a pretty weekend and it was very very hot out. We went to Thea park a lot and we went walking around. All in all, I had a lot of fun. I have a game show fetish so I love watching game shows. We do it all the time at Amber's.
On Friday when I got there, pancake was over there. He looked so different. His hair was past his shoulders and he didn't seem all happy and joyous when i got there. He had to leave like a half hour after i got there and that sucked. But his birthday was Saturday so he opened his present from amber. She got him a black shirt with a big skull on it and she got him black skinny jeans and she made him put it on as soon as he opened it. He looked a lot better in it than in his normal clothes. On Saturday we really didn't do much. Mainly game shows. I've come to love the show baggage and it was quite interesting. The show love trianglenmade me angry but it was also interesting. On sunday pancake came over again and that was fun. He was there till about midnight. Earlier that day amber painted his nails black and I straightened his hair. Then amber told me that she wanted me to cut his hair since it was so long and guy don't look good with longer hairbrush their shoulders. Somehow I think she's turning him into her dream guy. I think they would make a great couple. He's already in love with her which i think is adorable as he'll! So we went outside and i cut his hair. I was sloop nervous because I've never cut anybody's hair but my own. But it turned out great! It was very even and a little above his shoulders. I cut about four or five inches off and it turned out great. She told me to leave the bangs alone so that he would be able to do hair flips for her. Lol she's crazy but that's why we love her. He wouldn't let us put guyliner on him though. We hung out in Amber's room for a while until he left.
Today is one of the exam days. I had one exam in first period and it was just fine. I'm pretty sure I passed. We had two hours for that exam and that was my freshmen class. Second period was fun. I didn't go to the library yesterday because i went to Kevin's house so I didn't get to pick up any books so I brought my iPad to school so that so could have something to do today.

I'm not so sure what else to write on this post because I wrote it 2 or 3 weeks ago.

Monday, May 30, 2011

My weakness.

Everybody has a weakness that they like to keep hidden, Mine just happens to be Envy and it's been showing a lot.
Okay, cut me some slack.
I'm a sixteen year old high school girl with her seventeen year old boyfriend who just happens to be loving and funny (not to mention sexy) and is nice to everyone he meets and can make anybody his friend. Who wouldn't love a guy as perfect as him?
Honestly, I don't mean to always be so jealous, it's just natural for me. I guess it shows how much I care for him? well when he gets jealous it lets me know that he cares.
My jealousy isn't just with Kevin, though.
I get jealous of other people's parents and how close they are. How chill they are and let their kid spend night with her boyfriend for 4 days. I get jealous girls who are prettier than me, (which isn't a lot. Have you seen the girls here? W-H-O-R-E-S. And trust me, Honey, being a whore is not cute.) I mean, yeah, I have pretty hair, and a pretty smile. I have a pretty eye color and great boobs. I just need to work on my figure, and some other stuff.
So, I don't only get jealous with Kevin, it's just a big part of it. It's not that bad, I just need to learn how to control it.
With Kevin:
I've learned to control some of it. I'm in the process of not saying "Is she pretty?" to him. He always gives me the same answer anyways. "No, Karen, I'm not paying attention to her." "I only have eyes for you." "You're the only person in the world who's pretty." And stuff along those lines. Honesty is policy with us. We have a trust thing going on. We can actually trust each other. He just doesn't trusts guys around me, and I don't trust girls around him, but we deal with it. It's kind of more hard on him though because I hate girls. Can't stand them. Amber basically the only female friend that I have. I hate girls, girls hate me. It works that way. All of my Friends are mainly guys. Guys are nice to me. Girls are just mean. Am I the only one who thinks girls are a hell of a lot worse than guys are? Well I like guys. They make better friends. But I can never picture myself with any other guy than Kevin. He's the only guy for me. He's seriously the only guy I ever want. I think some guys are cute sometimes, but I really only have eyes for Kevin. I may think some are cute every now and then, but I could never be with anyone other than Kevin. He's my one and only.
With other girls:
Okay, I've eased up a lot.
I don't care if Kevin has female friends. I don't care if he talks to them or laughs with them and has fun conversations with them. I mean, why should I be that much of a hypocrite? I'm always around guys and they crack me up. Kevin has every right to have female friends. I'm not saying that it won't bug me though. I need to get used to it. I know it bugs him when I'm around guys just as much as it bugs me when he's around girls. But it's alright though cause we trust each other. I don't care about any of that, but I am a hypocrite about something. And I'll admit it too. I'm a Hypocrite. I don't want him hugging girls. I know, I sound controlling, but I'm really not. We have an equal and loving relationship that a lot of people can't handle. Nobody wears the pants with us. We each own one pant legs. I have stuff that I don't like, and he has stuff that he doesn't like. One of them just happens to be hugging girls. I'd rather not have some other girl put their tits all other his chest. Too close for my likings. Karen don't do hugs. I love hugs though. I'm a hypocrite and I don't care. I'm a great girlfriend to him. And he's the best boyfriend there will ever be.
Karen and Kevin.
3-31-10 ~ The end of time.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Best Friend's House? Yes!

I'm going to Amber's tomorrow! I'm excited. We're going to Pancakes birthday too. Well I'm not too sure if we're going to his house or if he;s just coming over. I think he's coming over though. Plus, it's supposed to be a pretty weekend. In the 80's! That's a first for Ohio.
So remember what I said that my sister got in a wreck back in February? Well she did it again yesterday. Except this time she didn't get a cool scar on her forehead that looks like a lightning bolt and her car isn't totaled. She only screwed up the bumper this time but she also involved another car this time. The cops are taking her license away for six months this time though. She has too many points against her too. Mommy told me yesterday that I need to hurry up and get my license so I can drive her around, but I'm not getting my temps until I turn 16 next month. Woo? Well I'm also getting a job. I can't wait. I hate being in the house all day every day. After tomorrow, we only have four days of school left. I can't wait. Kevin and I decided that we were going to go to Kings Island the first day of Summer break.
SO our school is stupid now. I passed all of my OGT's (Ohio Graduation Tests) and what they also do is you get a final exam exemption in the subject you passes. I passed all five (Reading, Writing, Math, Science, and Social Studies.) So I should get 5 exam exemptions..... Right? Wrong. That had is every year before ours that we are allowed to use the writing exemption on a foreign language or an elective. Well they changed that a week before the freaking exams. It ticks me off. I was looking forward to not taking any exams. Well my French teacher has all these stupid plans for our exam like making a poster, doing a dance, and a written test. Well I straight up told her that I refuse to do the dance. Karen don't dance. She said that it's fine as long as I think of something do instead of it. I'm ticked off though cause I don't want to do any of the exam. Je deteste danser!
I hate this. I wanted to just read all of the last two days of school. Oh well. I'm finally not sick anymore though. So that's a good thing, I guess.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Doomsday? Pshh. No sweat.

Hello blogging world.
For all of those who are reading this, it looks like the Doomsday was a Doomsfail.
I have decided to write a rough draft of this post on my Ipad. I am obsessed with it. MY mom got it free from her work. It's the shizz. Anyways, I'm sorry that I have not blogged in a while. Since I got Runescape membership a couple weeks ago, that has been all I could do, basically. This this is very fun to type on. I didn't go to school on Friday cause I'm sick, then I felt guilty all weekend because of my schedule. Since I wasn't there on Friday, I wasn't there to turn it in either. I'll turn it in tomorrow. I didn't go cause I felt like crap. My throat is teaming up with my head to murder me. The book I'm reading write now is really good though. It is confusing but oh well. I don't have much to say. This is like an update. Kevin and I are doing perfect as always. The world was supposed to end yesterday, for all of those who don't live in a cave. Or in the woods like Osama. He wasn't even in the woods. He was living out in the open, in a mansion, for 10 years. We couldn't even find him. Osama Bin Laden is the Hide and Seek champion. *Back on subject* That's pretty crazy. I didn't believe it though. Well, I didn't, until near 6 Kevin kept was talking to me and I asked him if he believed it and he said "Not at all......well..... there is that slim chance......" And that's when I started freaking out. I decided to joke around about it though cause I felt uneasy. I kept saying stuff like, "If the world doesn't end, I think I'll make some brownies later" and "This is the time when I have to make the life-changing decision.....Should I eat my Subway sub..... Or die hungry...." I like to joke about stuff when I feel uneasy. But yeah. Nobody can predict when the world is going to end. Plus, if the guy was wrong back in 1994 then he is most likely wrong now, also. Another this is that he predicted it's going to end by a huge earthquake. First of all, how likely is it that a big apocalyptic earthquake is just going to end all of human civilization? Not likely at all. Second of all, no human can predict an earthquake. An earthquake is a natural disaster, not a predicted disaster. Did we predict hurricane Katrina? Nope. Did we predict the earthquake in Haiti? Nope. What about all those tornadoes that ripped through the south of U.S? Nope. And that thing that happened in Japan. None of these cases were predicted. They're called natural for a reason. Do you predict that you're going to start having dandruff tomorrow? Do you predict that you're going to get a paper cut in the next 12.7 seconds?
What I really hate is that everybody keeps saying that it's going to end yesterday by a Zombie Apocalypse. WRONG! The dude did not even mention Zombies. There was two major news stories going on at the same time. The dude with the doomsday earthquake, and the radiation in Japan could cause the rise of the dead in the near future. THE TWO STORIES DO NOT INTERTWINE! DON'T GET THEM MIXED UP! I swear, if I hear one more person say "I'm sad that the world didn't end on Saturday cause I was looking forward to getting ate by a Zombie," I'm going to punch a 3 legged infant.
This post lasted longer than I thought it would.
Okay, right after the clock hit 6:00 pm, a lot of my friends posted really funny status' on Facebook. Here are some!

"The world is ending in 5 minutes... You better start on your bucket list :p" -Alex 5:56
"WE DIDN'T DIE!!!" -Samantha 6:01
"Look, I'm still breathing..so I'm not dead." -Callie 6:02
"Well, I'm still alive. I'll just go on with my daily life now. Thank" - Alex 6:02
"Man, This Earthquake sure is intense!" Kristen 6:03

And I have now survived 2 school bomb threats, and the end of the world. Yeah, I'm pretty much invincible.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Some people go to prom...

Some people go to prom, whereas cooler people hang out at Wal-Mart putting condoms in funny places and hide to watch people's reactions.

I had an amazing weekend. I actually went to Amber's for the first time in literally 3 months. I realized what I had been missing. Now I'm going to try to go over there every other weekend or every 3 weekends. Ugh, I love it there. Start from the beginning? Alright, You asked.

Friday- As soon as I got home, I planned on taking a shower because I knew I was going over Amber's. But that morning I hadn't had breakfast or lunch, so I was pretty hungry. While I was eating cookies and milk (Yeah, I'm cool like that) Amanda called me saying they'll be here in 10 minutes. So I rushed to pack my stuff and not even five minutes later they were there. Great. So I hurried up and got in the car. Gross, Aaron was there too. I wasn't in the mood for bull crap, so I didn't say anything Blah, Blah, Blah, Car, Library, Amber, Home. Then Jacob was also there. (The three year old they babysit) But lucky enough it was Amanda's day to watch him. When we got there, I learned that they were watching their cousin's dog (or supposed to be) and get slipped out of his collar and ran. He's been on the loose since Wednesday and nobody can catch him. Amber's mom even put a 100$ reward on him. Well, we were on a dog hunt all weekend. While we were walking around we ran into some people on the road who stopped to talk to us. One of those people just happened to be Brady. I hadn't seen him for about a year and a half. He hit his growth spurt and was now taller than me. Well he ended u walking around with us and looked for Tyson with us. He was actually spotted and we all ran after him. Brady chased him down in the woods but still could not catch him. We went and hung out in the park and stuff. Then later on we went on a hike. It was fun but also scary because where Amber lives is a lot of pedophiles, so being in the woods is not the best idea. But we did it anyways. We went far enough to find a creek that nobody knew was there. There was also a cute waterfall and a picnic table. It was beautiful. Then it was time to climb back up the hill to go back to the trailer park. I'm not the climbing type. Brady offered to carry me, which was very thoughtful, but I said no. I'm an independent woman who can be tough. Halfway up the hill we heard the ice cream truck then we hurried up the hill. I bought us three ice cream. Then we went to the park to tease little kids with our ice cream. It was a fun day.
The next day was alright. I'll just skip to the fun part. Brady, Amber, and me at wal-mart.
Never get us three with the condom isle. We were getting a bunch of condom boxes so we can put them in cool places and there was a mom, dad, and a young boy in the same isle looking at lube. I held up a box of pregnancy tests and I told Amber "Here Amber, try this one. It's 99% accurate!" In a really loud voice so they could hear me. We busted out laughing. Of course, Brady wouldn't hold any condom boxes, so as we were walking around and we saw a big group of people, we screamed at him "Oh, here Brady. Here's the Extra-small box of condoms you asked for!" We made sure to do that about 5 times.
Places where we put a box--
On top of men's boxers.
In front of a big TV screen.
Amber threw a box at a mom and daughter looking at shoes-we ran to the other side of the store.
Pleasure pack- In front of a Barbie Doll.
Extra Small- In a huge shoe sticking out.
Tropical Flavored- In front of the Banana's that were on sale- We stood and watched peoples reactions from afar- One lady almost took them.
On top of the hot dogs.
In front of the huge jars of pickles.
We wanted to put one in front of the mayonnaise- Couldn't find it.

We talked Amber's mom into going to go get some Bananas. While she was checking out Brady, Amber and Me were making up funny scenarios.
Brady would walk over to the Banana's while there was a crowd around. He would look at the Banana's and yell, "Aww Grandma! Here's where you left your condoms!"
Brady would walk over to the Banana's while there was a crowd around. He would look at them and yell " Oh, here's where I left these!"

And more stuff like that. We laughed about that all night. Then we went to walk around and we each had a Banana. After we each finished our banana, Brady would through each as far as he could and yell "Mario Cart this Shi*!!" It cracked me up.

Yeah, I only made this post to tell you about the condoms. But yes, I went to wal-mart on my prom night. I had a hell of a lot more fun there than I ever would at a dance.

Monday, May 2, 2011

The Sims Story.

My name is Zohra Miller. I married my high school sweetheart, Soren Miller. We finally bought a house of our own. It was a same two story house with a small living room, a master bedroom, and a small guest bedroom. One small dread full bathroom to match the small house. We soon settled down and Soren got a job involving science. I wanted to stay home and paint, hoping that one day my painting skills would come in handy and we could get a lot of money for my paintings. That dream came true, and we soon pain off all of our debts. Since we didn't have any worries, Soren and I decided to have our very first child. We quickly turned the guest bedroom into a small nursery. Soon after our final decision, I was pregnant. While I was pregnant with our baby, I took a break from painting and just rested for a few. Time passed quickly and I had our little boy. He had my blond hair.

Of course, I was stupid and careless, and our little boy was soon taken away by social services. Soren and I were both very devastated. We never saw him again. Due to our devastation of our loss, we decided to try again and move forward instead of hold onto the past. Well, we tried again, and we had a baby girl. I named her Zenon. She ended up having long brownish red hair, just like Soren's. She also had a lot of my traits, like being a vegetarian, hyperactive, and she also shared my love for painting. She was the cutest little girl.

All while she was growing into a teen, I practiced guitar. I got really good, but I chose not to go big and get famous, because I wanted a family, not fame. Once Zenon grew into a little teen, Soren and I decided to have another baby. It was a big decision because we also had to put Zenon into thought and how having a baby would affect her. I ended up pregnant anyways, and soon later had Nikoli, our baby boy. He had my blond hair and reminded me a lot of our first child. I tried not to let that get me down. He grew into his own traits, like athletics.

Time passed and our children grew. Zenon got great grades and graduated from high school while Nikoli was entering high school. Soren and I decided that three kids was enough to have. We focused all our attention on them as they grew. Zenon explained to me that her life long dream was to have a big family with the love of her life. I told her that the only way that could happen was if she found her one true love. We all packed our bags and moved to our dream house which was beautiful house of the ocean. It was a boat house, in a way.

My name is Zenon Miller, and I have mission. Yes, my dream is to have a big family with the love of my life. All of my family knows. Well, maybe not Nikoli. He's an odd one, indeed. I'm young and I'd say I'm cute. I loved my long hair; everyone did. But, I got in cut into a cute like reddish bob that really brings out my face. During the day, I turn my flirt switch on and I roam the streets aimlessly hoping to find 'him'. My mom ended up throwing me a 'Get to know us' party, since we were new to the neighborhood, but she told me that she wouldn't have done it if I didn't need to meet some guys, pronto.

The party went fine, however, all the guys were duds. Later that night, I saw a man walking on the sidewalk. I quickly ran out to him, because nobody usually walks on the sidewalk near our house. Little did I know, he was crazily attractive. When I went to talk to him, we instantly clicked. His name is Justin Bailey. He had long brown hair that was triple as long as mine. He wears a top hat and a long black trench coat. He also had a little stubble as a beard. Something about his bad boy atmosphere was... Exhilarating. He excited me.

I invited him in and he met my family. They all seemed to get along. Then Justin and I stayed up all night talking and hanging out for hours. It didn't take long to grow feeling for him. It also didn't take long for us to start dating. He started coming over everyday and staying days at a time. I was falling for him. Big time. He asked me to marry him. Of course, I immediately said yes. Then I asked him if he would bear my child. Then, we took this question to the bed, which is where he had given me my answer. I was soon pregnant and when I announced my pregnancy to him , he was happy. We then had our first child. Sadly, I followed in my mom's footprint, and he got taken away by social services. My family was upset with me, but my mom understood my pain. Even Justin was angry at me. Him and his son got along great. I just know it was hard on him. I called him like 15 times everyday inviting him over. He never showed day after day. I could tell he was ignoring me. I started to become depressed and my mother knew it.
She gently told me what she thought which was a blunt way to say it's over. I still continued to call my fiance day after day. I started to give up on Justin. I soon met somebody whom I like a lot. His name is Jerry Daniels. He's a pale man with black dreadlocks. He's not the cutest, but that doesn't matter. We have fun together. We lay in bed all day laughing at the cooking channel and making fun of their fake french accents, and we play chess outside on rainy Wednesdays. We enjoy each other's company. He knew about my engagement, and accepted it.
We continued to only be romantic interests and I continued to call Justin everyday hoping he would come over so I could gently break the engagement. I wanted to be with Jerry, and more than romantic interests. He's the light that lights the living room of my life, my other half, and I want him to be the father of our future kids. If I could just speak with Justin... Or mail him.... I have much to tell him, so I'll say it now.

Dear Justin,

It's me, Zenon. It's been a while, huh? You've been ignoring me... Not coming over... Not calling me... I miss you. I loved you, I really did. But you suddenly went away. Somehow deep down, I know you've died. My conscious tells me so. If you killed yourself because of the loss of our son... I'm sorry. I feel like it's all my fault. Maybe you're still alive, or maybe you're dead.. but I still have many things to say to you. I don't want you out of my life, I really don't. I just don't want somebody who ignores me for all this time to be my fiance. I might be taking this the wrong way, and something might have happened with you and you had to leave right away, but still. I've met my one true love. I may have loved you for that some time, but I really love Jerry, and I say it to his face. We never used to L word with each other. He's okay with me being engaged to you. He knows the situation and how we haven't been seeing each other lately. Yes, I've been having an affair. We're basically not even a couple anymore, but still. Just in case, I wanted to end it with you in person and not something like this. I do want to end it though. Give somebody else a hold of my heart. I don't regret anything. I do love Jerry. Not you. I did, though. Maybe if we were still in communication for all that time, we would've worked out fine. Jerry mended my broken heart and drug me out from depression. Made me laugh and smile. Made me basically forget about you. But I couldn't let go unless I've said this stuff to you. I'm with Jerry. We've been together for a while. We took it slow. I'm over you. This is me letting go. So wherever you are, I hope you find happiness like I have. Oh yeah, this last part might be a bomb on this situation. Jerry and I have had a child. She has my mother's blond hair. She's adorable. Her name is Justine.

I'm right where I need to be. Forever His,
Zenon Miller.

All Rights Reserved. Copyrighting or any use of this story without my permission is strictly plagiarism. Written by Karen Salyers. Used my original ideas from my family of Sims from Sims 3 for the Wii.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Merry Easter!

April Showers bring May Flowers..... So what do April Tornadoes bring?

Well one Wednesday we had really bad storms. Like, a bunch of areas in Indiana, Kentucky, Ohio had a bunch of tornadoes. There was winds up to 80 miles per hour where I live. Me, being a wuss, am terrified of tornadoes. I just don't like to be put into situations where I think I'm gonna die. I have so much to live for! I haven't married Kevin yet! Well, I bawl my eyes out during watches and warnings. I'm not too scared of thunder storms, as long as there are no tornadoes. I just hate tornadoes. So my family, me, and my dog got in the car at 1 in the morning and drove next to my school. The school was brick, and it blocked the wind. We just sad there and watched the storm. I had to be on the phone with Kevin the whole time though because just hearing his voice keeps me calm. I wanted to go over to his house for the tornado, since his mom said we could and he has a basement we could've hid in. But, as always, I didn't get what I want.

This week I've been on spring break. I've been so lazy. I try setting my alarms for early in the morning but I never wake up. I'm a very heavy sleeper.

I kinda wish I had another hamster. I really really loved Trixie. She was probably my favorite hamster. I had her the same time I had Patunia. My first hamster was Fiona. She lived for 10 months. She was cute, but she bit a lot. She was light brown. My second hamster was Delilah. She was grey and white. She lived for a month. She was cute, also. My third hamster was Cassandra. She was fat. I don't remember her color. She lived about a month, too. With Delilah, I accidentally killed her. The day before her death, I fed her a tiny piece of a Vanilla Wafer. When I tell people that, I laugh and joke about it but I get really sad when I think about it. I'm living with the guilt. Then I had my fourth and fifth hamster at the same time. Putunia and Trixie. They were sisters and they played all the time. They also fought though. Patunia was brown with a white stripe and Trixie was black with a white stripe. I love hamsters they're soooooo cute! A little furball in your hand! Patunia lived for a year and a half and Trixie lived a little over two years. I was so attached to Trixie and was so sad when she died. I skipped school the next day because I felt crappy. I loved all of my hamsters, but Trixie was different. She never bit me. All of the others bit me repeatedly but Trixie went over two years with not one bite. She was so sweet. Kitty liked watching her in her hamster ball. About 5 days after she died, I met Kevin. Trixie died on that Tuesday and I met Kevin on Sunday. I feel bad that he never got to meet Trixie. I'll put pictures of her at the bottom.

HAPPY EASTER! I went to Kevin's today. I wanted him to go with us to my grandma's for Easter, but my parents thought we would be all over each other the the family will gossip and I'd be the family whore. Wonderful. Been together over a year and he hasn't met the rest of my family. He better soon, though. My grandma doesn't have much longer so I really want him to meet them. When I went to Kevin's we watched Easy A on Netflix. Then we went bowling with his parents and that was fun. Then we all went out to get ice cream. I had a peanut butter chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream malt. It was really good. After that, we went to white castle and we got a bunch of chicken. His family, being as sweet as they are, put me together a cute little Easter basket. They always get me stuff even though I hate gifts. I love his family. They're always thinking of me. I'm happy they like me.

Well, I hope you all have a Happy Easter! Stay out of Church! Don't get brainwashed!

What is your favorite Holiday, and why?

Here's my baby girl! She was Black at first. She borwned with age.Coby always loved Trixie. They were best friends!
And Here's my old frog, Bradford!

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Spring Break is finally here!

Hello world!

Well, Let's see here....

Last post I ranted, soo.... This post I'll say what's up with me? Hmmm.... I finally got my mining level to 70 on Runescape with makes me a happy camper. We cleaned out the pond on Thursday...... Gross...... Kevin was supposed to come over on Tuesday but he didn't go to school cause he was sick. That was a bad day. Friday was the Lock In. Amber went with me. The Lock In was okay..... Not nearly as good as last year's. Kevin had a Short temper the whole night and he hung out with his two best friends the whole night. Grrr. I'm not good at sharing. Scratch that, I won't share. He's mine. I'm more important than them. They can go screw off. Chicks before dicks. Our school is weird. For breakfast, we had three big trash bags full of weird bagels, a trash bag full of two-foot long Baguettes, and giant cookies. What the hell kind of food is that? We used the Baguettes for sword fights though. Then what sucked is that Kevin's buddies spent the entire weekend with him, even though he knew I was coming over on Saturday. Yeah, that isn't happening anymore. They ruined my Saturday at Kevin's. They're like his pets. They won't leave him alone. Therefore, I didn't get any alone time with Kevin. Faggots. From now on, If I get permission to come over, and he has friends over that day, then he can screw off and just hang out with them. I don't mind staying home on the weekend. If they're there when Kevin and I decided a week before that I'm coming over, then it means that I'm apparently less important than them. He just needs to learn to say no to them. But we got to cuddle somewhat yesterday which was alright. I'm just never coming over when he has friends over. Plans don't always happen out the way I want them so oh well. What's the point of ever getting my hopes up? They always get ruined.

On the upside, Kevin and I are doing just fine. I think he's been a little stressed out lately cause he's had a short temper. Oh well, I'll get used to it. I mean, we are going to be together forever. Gotta get used to it now. I'll love him forever, no matter how many times we snap at each other.

Oh yeah! We exchanged our one year gifts yesterday (When his pets weren't all over him). I got him an engraved ring. It took 2 weeks for it to engrave, so that's why we exchanged yesterday. It's a spinner ring with X's on the spinning part. On the inside it says 'KAD & KLS 3.31.10'. He got me an engraved box and an engraved necklace. They're sooooooo pretty! Gah! I hate receiving gifts though cause I'm bad with thank you's with gifts. Here's the pictures!


If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?

Here's the box. Every side is like a mirror.Top of the box. Inside my box. Sorry for the terrible focus. It says 3-31-10Heart and a key. this side says KAD & KLS

Monday, April 11, 2011

Hmmmm.... Rant?

Agh! Wanna know what really ticks me off? Okay, well I'm a quiet girl when I'm in class. I don't talk much (or at all). I'm not shy, I just hate people. Why talk to people I hate? So I'm a quiet person. So near the beginning of a new trimester the teachers go through and name off everybody first and last name. When the teacher calls my name, I don't say here, I just raise my hand. Well this happens every new trimester and every teacher. So they start saying my last name all like "Sal.......Sawl-yers?" And I don't even both correcting them because I have given up at this point. They always get it wrong and they always will. So out of nowhere a random stupid who doesn't even know me will correct the teacher and say "It's Sail-ors." What the hell? You don't even know me and yet you're trying pronounce my own last name for me. AND YOU PRONOUNCE IT WRONG! If you're gonna correct somebody, make sure the information you have is correct first! So I just sit there mad. They don't know how to pronounce it so why should they correct somebody? I'm pretty sure I know how to pronounce my own last name. It really makes me mad though, because it's pronounced EXACTLY HOW IT'S SPELLED. Is there a 'W' in it? No. So it's not Sawl-yers. Do the 'L' come before the 'W'? No. So it's not Say-lers. Is there an 'I' in it? No! It's not Sail-ors either. Every American can pronounce stuff like it's spelled. It's spelled like it's pronounced. Salyers. Therefore, Sal. It's just like in Sally. I don't see you throwing in random letters to Sally. Saylly. Saily. NO! Sal. Yers. Not Yours. There is no OU. It's like saying yours but with a southern accent. Salyers. IT'S NOT THAT HARD OF A LAST NAME, PEOPLE! Geez..... What is becoming of this world? Well, on the bright side. China isn't taking over the United States anytime soon, which is good.

I wish I could get on Runescape right now. I have about 10k experience left until 70 mining. Runescape is being stupid and keeps saying 'Error Loading server' everytime I try and log in. Well, I think I'll start doing the whole, question every post thing that I talked about once I got my Blogging swag back.

What is your favorite animal? (Be specific too. Like what type of dog, what type of cat etc.., and also color wise too)

My favorite animal is a tan/brown Himalayan Cat :D

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Lame Saturday Night.

Hello world of Blogspot.

How are you on this Saturday evening?

It is currently 9:17 on Saturday night. Karen is not a party go-er. I usually have SOMETHING to do on Saturday night, but I literally have nothing to do. I've been on Runescape. LAME. Mining level is almost to 70 though, which makes me happy. Let's see..... Uhh, I've read. That's a party, right? My Saturday is boring. I have no minutes so I can't text anybody. Kevin's at a birthday party with a bunch of freshmen, so I can't talk to him. My mom and sister are both gone, so that leaves me with my dad. Whoa, that party animal. (Sarcasm). I could do homework........ HA! I'm funny. I've been listening to french music all day. I had to do a project on a french singer and I chose this really pretty french girl. Her voice is beautiful and her lyrics are amazing (if you look them up translated into English). You should go on Youtube and look up Jena Lee. She's amazing. I want to draw, but I don't know what to draw. I'm not that good at drawing. Wanna see some of my drawing? I'll go get my sketch book and take pictures of my drawings. Here you go.

I wouldn't say I'm a bad drawer, but I'm not that good. These are my pictures in my sketch book.This one is a girl trapped inside of a mirror. I used my charcoal pencils :3

I don't even know about this one. There's a cat popping up into the picture. The dude is trying to flick it. Don't ask =_=

I think this is me and Kevin. I'm kissing his cheek. and there is sparkles and hearts in the background? I don't know what I'm thinking when I draw....

I think this is supposed to be me. I think it looks really good. The legs are off though.

This is my worst picture. I dislike it times 1000. It just sucks.

This is obviously me and Kevin 10 years later. I think it's a cute like drawing. He's having trouble with the bottle because he's blond lol.

Random Pirate girl FTW. I drew this on Tuesday and Wednesday. I think it's a cute drawing.

This is my favorite of my drawings. She actually has tears in her eyes you just can't see them this far away. At the top it says "I'll sing a song about the past". I was actually going to write a story with that title. I eventually gave up on the idea. This was the main character, Evangeline Karianna Dellers and her life was filled with misery but she still looks towards her bright future.

Well, now you all know what my drawings look like. Comments?

Thursday, April 7, 2011

All Better!

Change is good. Right? Ehh. I'm not much for change but when I found out that nobody could post comments on my blog I jumped at trying to fix it. So my blog has been under construction for about 24 hours. What I had it changed to yesterday, I thought was good. I looked at it again when I got home and really looked like I puked all over the edit template page. My blog looked like I took a crap on it. So, I decided to change it to a picture of a star field. I enjoy stars. They're very pretty. I also changed my blog around by only putting one picture at the top, then some at the bottom, plus my playlist at the bottom. I know that some people may not like my music, and I apologize. If I could set it so that it doesn't turn on right when you enter my blog, I would. Sadly, I can't. I always listen to my blog's playlist though. I love it. I also thought of changing my URL to my blog. 'The screamo emo' just isn't working nowadays. I like it. It sounds good and I've had it for over a year. I just don't want people assuming that just because it says emo it means that my blog will be full of depressing crap. No. Wrong. I'm a very optimistic person and I try to always smile. I also don't listen to a whole lot of screamo nowadays. It's good on some days but I'm just not feeling it lately. I then decided to keep it cause I'm used to the name, and I'm sure you all are used to the name also. I enjoy it and maybe you all do too. Maybe I'll start doing random question in every post now since I fixed it so that people can comment on posts. Hmmm. I'll think about it. Well, that's my tiny update for now.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

That explains it!

I FINALLY figured it out! Okay, so when I was in Social Studies today, working on our Blogspots, I was told that my school blog was not working with comments. I was really, really confused why only mine wasn't working. Nobody could add a comment on any of my posts. I kept asking myself why it wasn't working. I asked Alex how my blog was different from his because his was working just fine. Even my posts said that they allow comments. All that mine was that his wasn't was that my blog had a background from Pyzam. (That's where I get all of my backgrounds) So I took of the background to see if it would work. Guess what? After I took off the background, my blog allowed comments! Then I realized something. This blog hasn't had any comments for over a year. Then I realized that I've almost always have had a Pyzam background on my main blog. This one. Then I tried to remember the last time I didn't have a background on this blog from Pyzam. Then I also noticed that it was about the time of the last comment that I received. I've always been sad that I never get any comments anymore. It was like my blog just dropped off the side of the Earth. Sooooooo. IN CONCLUSION! I'm really sorry for any inconvenience that you may have faced while trying to post a comment on one of my posts. I will start right now on finding a different background that does not affect the posting of comments. If you want, please comment some of my posts. You will make my day since I haven't gotten any in so long. Comments, to me, are like followers. It lets me know that my stuff if being read. i get so excited and pumped when I get a new follower on this blog, or even a comment in my chat box. I will be one happy camper if I start getting comments of my blogs now. I'm sorry twinkly animated star background, but I think it's time for us to part our separate ways. You were very good to me for almost a year. You lit up my blog and made it visually appealing, but this is the best for my blog. It's not me, it's you. No, seriously. You make it so nobody can comment. Goodbye pretty background, you will be missed.

Thursday, March 31, 2011


IT'S MARCH THIRTY-FIRST!!!!! You all know what that means! :D It's Kevin and mine's 1year! It's not that much, but it's 365 days. Most people break up in like two months, so nowadays, one year is a long time. But we're going to be together forever, so what's the rush? I enjoy knowing that it's been a year though. I'm sitting in Social Studies, SUPPOSED to be doing work, but I just love blogging. Well, That IS our assignment. We have to blog about our immigrent life. That's on my other blog though. I hate that blog. But, I just wanted to update you all that today, it has officially been an entire year! I looked at the posts that I wrote a year ago about when I was falling for Kevin and then when we were together. UGH! I love him. Then I wrote a post on the lock in and about my first kiss on April 2, 2010 5:04 AM at the Lock In! Speaking of the Lock In, This year instead of it being on April Fool's day, It's on April 15th. I'M SO EXCITED!!!! I loved the Lock In with Kevin. That's basically where our relationship started. I LOVE KEVIN! I'm gonna stop writing though, because class is ended. BYE!

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Run! Zombie Apocalypse!

Ha! I'm just playing (:

There's no zombies.......yet.

Anyways. It has officially been 34 days since I've last blogged. I know.... it's so sad. *tear* I have had writers block. I didn't know what to write about!! Then I got on today and I saw that I had 16 followers instead of the 14 that I had (One hidden) and that just kinda gave me the confidence to write something. I mean, even if it was just jibber jabber, you all would still like it..... right? Well let's talk about something shall we? How the hell have you all been!? I'm doing okay in school. We started new trimesters also. I have good classes. I just realized that I stopped blogging after I got sick. I guess that's why I've had writers block! I have been sick for a little over a month now. I went to the doctors for it for the first time yesterday. I've had sneezing, sniffling, headaches, earaches, migraines, fatigue, and lately really bad coughing. Turns out that I have whooping cough! yay! Not. I also have some infection. I'm on medication right now fore 5 days. It's day two. I feel worse than yesterday. I've been a trooper about it, though. I've only missed 1 1/2 days from my month long flu thing. During the final exams it got really bad. Got somewhat better afterwards. Then during OGT's it was terrible. UGH. That's the week

I had earaches. My sickness is at it's worse when it comes to big huge tests. Today I did scheduling for my classes next year! When I read 'JUNIOR 2011-2012' across the top of the paper I finally realized that I'm about to be a junior in a few months. Scary, right? We're also changing everything at our school. This year was so much different from last year, but next year is worse. This year they changed lunches. Not everybody eats lunches with each other now. Now it's Freshman&Sophomores first lunch then Junior&Seniors second lunch. While the tow grades eat lunch, the other two are in SSR. Gross. Next year they're just changing everything. The lunches stays the same as it is right now. Next year, instead of trimesters, we will be in Semesters. Instead of 5 one hour classes a day, 7 45 minute classes a day. Most classes are going to be year round instead of 2/3 of the year. On the bright side, I'll be a Junior and I'll be able to eat lunch with Kevin, AND I get band YEAR ROUND! I'm looking forward to semesters. The classes will also go by a lot faster. Speaking of Kevin. GUESS WHAT TOMORROW ISSSS!!! Kevin and Me's ONE YEAR! I'm soooo excited! I honestly can't believe that it's already been an entire year. It went by so fast! I guess time goes by fast when you're so in love. Ha! I guess that means that my life is going to flash before my eyes. Good. I can't wait till I"m 18 and we get an apartment together. I can't wait till I'm 16 either. I can actually get a job then. I'll be out of the house and I'll have more money to spend on Kevin. DATE MONEY! I think having a job will be fun as hell. Just gotta work at the right place with the right bosses. Kevin and I talked about going on a date on Friday, but he hasn't asked me yet.... So we might, and we might not. I might be going the school's play on Saturday, but I doubt it. In English, we're reading To Kill A Mockingbird and I just hate it so much... That is the reason why they have invented Sparknotes.

I'm running out of things to say! D:

Kevin is my entire life and I"m gonna marry that boy (:

It's funny what love can do to you... Soooo much has happened in the last year. Promises were made. Tears were shed. Lots of laughing and fun. I just love being with Kevin. Just standing next to him puts a smile on my face. He's always there when I need him. He makes me laugh when I'm crying. I have a gut feeling that I'll always be with him. A lot of people tell us that, too. But I don't need other people telling me what I already know. I mean, Kevin is exactly like me and I'm just like him. It's like, I'm his female version. When people say that opposites attract, they might.... but two people have to have something in common to make it work. And Kevin and I just happen to have almost everything in common. I believe he's my one and only. My soul mate. My other half. You're never too young for love and you're never too young to find that one person you're going to be with forever. March 31, 2010 is the most important day in my life. That day has changed my life. I've had the most happiest year with Kevin and I know that there is many, many more to come.

I have a lot more to say, but I'm still attempting to get off of writer's block. I think I've written enough for now. I hope to get back on track with my blog. So YOU readers give me the courage to write! You have to make me write! I will try my very hardest to write more often. I've noticed that the blogs I follow have slowed down. I don't want to be one of them! I want to aim for everyone to read this! Even though I'm not a very interesting person.