Tuesday, November 23, 2010

I Lied.

So I realize that when I tell you all something, I normally don't fall through with it. I don't mean to, I just can't stick to my word. I told you all that I would be blogging everyday that Kevin is at work, correct? Well I haven't. Kevin worked on Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and he ended up working yesterday too. Well I only blogged once and that was on Saturday. I find it hard to blog everyday when I had just cleared my head of what to write the day before cause I had blogged. I'm going to try to blog every 2-5 days though. I have set a new goal for myself and that is to get to 14 followers. Everytime I get a follower I get so happy. Well I am currently in my computer class. The new trimester started yesterday. Now I have in this order: Web design, Biology, Geometry, Lunch, Advisory, Freshmen History, and Freshmen Health. I hate Freshmen so much. I know I was just a Freshman last year but jeez. This year's Freshmen really suck. They're so annoying. I have like 6 Freshmen that I'm cool with. The rest can disappear. I kinda like my classes this year though. I think that classes are so much easier the second time around anyways. So I'll actually try to do good this Trimester. It's strange, I say that every trimester, but I never do good. I know that I'm going to do good in my Geometry class cause I'm actually good at math. Wanna know what's weird? I hate being in classes with my friends. Yeah I know, it makes us closer and stuff but I just can't concentrate when I'm in a class with my friends. I want to actually do good in school. But I'm not going to if I don't try and I don't try if I'm with my friends. I'm in Geometry with my friends, sadly. But I'm going to try to ignore them. Biology, I have like one friend in there with is good cause I failed science because I was in there with a lot of my friends. Same with Social Studies last trimester. I don't like being in classes with my friends. I won't put up any effort.
In other news. Kevin's birthday is in 15 days! I have known exactly what to get him since about April. I'm excited. I want to try and make it the best gift ever. I only spent 10 on him at the Mall, then I spent 30 at Meijer and I'm not even close to finished. I got a lot of the little stuff done. I still gotta make the card and go to Michael's.
So I got off the bus with Kevin yesterday. I had fun. It was the first time I was over since last Wednesday because he has to work so much. Wanna know what sucks? He got called into to work. And he said yes. That made me upset. They asked him if he would come in. He didn't have to. But he chose to. Even though he knows that I can hardly see him. I did have fun while I could though. I just wish I could have him to myself for once.
So I'm pretty sure I'm going to Amber's on Thursday for the rest of the week. Yay! I don't know what else to say. So here's a few random pictures.

I love Himalayan cats.

I actually made this picture.
I was in an anime kind of mood.

I've grown an obsession with online Monopoly.

Letting the natural hair show.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Guilty as Charged.

I was supposed to make this entry yesterday, when Kevin was at work but I ended up going out and not coming home til late, which then I passed out on my couch.
I'd like to take about guilt in this post. Guilt is something we've all gone through and we go through it a lot. I'm the type of person who can lie so much and feel nothing. I can break promises to people I don't care about much and don't feel crap. I'm sure there's that one person that everyone has that you just can't lie to. Mine just happens to be Kevin. No matter what, I can't tell him a lie. Of course if I do or say something to him I feel guilty as hell. Like this one time, it was only a month or so after we had first started going out. We were in his bed and then he started a tickle fight with me. He kept tickling me and I kept laughing. Well I accidentally told him I hate him. Like how they do in movies why the girl hits the guy's shoulder saying that she hates him but she's smiling when she says it. I didn't mean it and I kept apologizing for it the whole day. I tend to say stuff without thinking a lot. I still feel terrible about it seven months later. I hate guilt. He's the only person who's made me feel guilty. I like to get things off my chest right when it happens. There is one thing I'd like to get off my chest right now. About a month ago I made this little promise to Kevin. It's not a big or important promise at all. But i made it. About a week or so ago I broke that promise. I didn't mean to but I wasn't thinking. I never want to break promises to Kevin but it happened. Ever since then I feel so bad. I've cried about it. The guilt is eating my insides. It's killing me right now. You don't know how bad I feel. And Kevin still doesn't know about the broken promise. I get so sad thinking about it and I feel bad and I just haven't gotten around to telling him yet. A couple days ago he made a promise to me and we were talking about promises and then he told me about he never wants to break a promise to me. That's when I felt the worst. I wish I should've told him then. I just couldn't. It's not a big promise but somehow I feel like he'd be mad at me. I hope that after he reads this we can talk about it and I'll tell him. I guess you can say that this is my way of telling him, but without telling him. If that makes any sense. A promise is a promise and I should've kept it.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Best Friends.

So I've seriously been staring at this black post page for almost 3 hours now. I've made a gaol for myself to write a post everyday that Kevin is working. Guess what? Kevin gets off at 10. And I told him that there will be a new post by the time he gets home. Let's see.... It's 9:15 now, maybe if I rush through a post it will work? :D Let's try it!
I would like to spend this post talking about how great my close friends are.
Surprisingly, I'm not starting off with Kevin. I would like to start off with my dear friend, Amber Hudson.
Amber Hudson: Noun. Amber Hudson is an explosion of awesomeness to a level that does not comprehend with the common brain. Amber is a compact element made up of 8 parts. Like an octopus. 1.Weird. Amber is an extremely weird and strange person. I'm just going to mop weird in with strange. She is a very odd character. She doesn't seem real at times but she is. 2.Emotions. I would say that Amber is an emotional person. She has chaotic mood swings. One minute she's all happy and giggly with her creepy smile, next she's going on a rampage through her house. Her crazy emotions are special though because it's very interesting what she does. Sit back, grab some popcorn and watch. 3.Beauty. I would say Amber is a very beautiful girl. She gets very conceited in herself though and she knows that she is pretty. I don't think that she likes her natural self though because she is always dying her hair like it's not good enough. She wants it black but its pretty as its natural brown. She doesn't know this but I think she is beautiful just the way she is. 4.Popularity. I wouldn't say that Amber is the most popular girl out there. She should be though. She has a weird way with words and can easily become liked by anyone. She has lots of good friends that is there for her. If she ever needs a hand, I'd happily help her. If someone hurt her, I would go a long ways to get revenge for her. I would take a bullet for her without hesitation. She can make good friends with no problem. 5.Kindness. In a weird way, Amber is the nicest girl I've ever met. She likes to kid and she likes to joke around but in the end she's really nice. She likes to act tough but I can see right through her (: Amber is nice, even when she doesn't want to be. 6.Randomness. She is one of the most randomest people I've ever met. It makes things interesting. It's very easy to keep on a ongoing conversation with her. 7.Funniness. She is extremely funny. When I'm over at her house, I swear it's like vacation. I never laugh so much. Her and her family is just plain hilarious. They cuss each other out. It's extremely funny. When they do it they're only joking around though. Amber is a little creepy sometimes but she really is a great person. 8. Just. Plain. Amazingness. She really is amazing. I guess what I'm getting at is that I love you (: Best Friends Forever! Thank you for always being there for me.

Whitley Mcmillian. She is great. She's there for me most of the time. I may not show it but she really does light up my life. She makes me smile when I'm down and she lets me complain to her. I love how she always tells me about her problems. I'm not good at giving advice but I do like to listen to people's problems. I'm a pretty good listener. Anyways, Whitley is amazing. She can make a hilarious joke out of almost anything and have everybody laughing. Whitley and I sometimes have our ups and our downs but in the end she's still one of my best friends. She has that type of 'I don't care' attitudes with school and people and stuff but she really is a sensitive person and I respect her for that. Whitley is one of my very pretty friends (: She has a pretty face and eyes that guys would die to stare into. She doesn't think it, but her hair is really pretty when it's just natural. Not straightened or anything. She has natural beauty. Whitley is great. She really is. 5 things I love about Whitley. 1.When we have random conversations that make my day. 2.Her good taste in music. 3.How she will say random things to me at random times. 4.How she is my personal blog stalker. 5.How we can stay friends no matter what. Whitley-Poo. I love you! Sex? now? Take off your pants! Pocket Sex! NUB NUB NUB! Best Bandie Buddies! Random Pacmans! DesandNate! Drawing War! We've been through so much(: Be my bestie forever? Pwease?

Aaron Taylor. He reminds me of an Ostrich. Don't ask why. That just popped into my head. Aaron Aaron Aaron. Aaron is in the top 3 nicest guys I've ever met. He's always happy. Always. No matter what. Always smiling. That's probably the thing I like most about him. He's just always so optimistic even if it is creepy. I remember beck in eighth grade when Me Amber and Aaron were like the three amigos. Inseparable. Best friends. Amber abused Aaron. She even cut his hair once. A big chunk. Us 3 always did projects together and did all our math in a triangle. We hung out after school and we went to the movies together. Like a group date. It was amazing. Aaron and me talked through the entire Twilight movie. He learned that it's possible to drink popcorn with a straw. They he threw popcorn at people. I'm taking a trip down memory lane right now. He let us put him in dresses. Aaron is great. He has this weird power to make anybody laugh at anytime no matter what mood they're in. He has long brown hair that resembles a girls. Amber got all the teachers and everybody to call him Hippy the entire eighth grade year. I still have the picture he drew me in eighth grade. I just had to keep it. I remember how Amber, Amanda, me, and Aaron used to play hide and go seek at Amber's dad's house and he would stand in the most obvious places. Other then Kevin, Aaron is my best guy friend. I wouldn't necessarily call Aaron pretty. He's like a girl or a gay friend. I would say that he has really pretty eyes cause he does. They're brown with some green and it's like there is orange, yellow and red fireworks in them. They're so cool. I wouldn't say that I regret liking him for two years. I wish I could go back in time and stop myself from liking him though. He is a great person and I'm sure he'll make some girl or guy happy later on. I'm glad that it isn't me. He said that he didn't want to ruin our friendship. If I could I would thank him for that. If he had never said that then I would have never given up on him, and I would have never been with Kevin. Thank you for being there for me Aaron. You're an amazing Bestie. I love you no homo :D
Tristin Ligons.This girl amazes me. she has told me her life story and she has been through so much crap in her life and she can still smile. she is like an idol to me. I wish I could smile after going through so much crap. Tris, I wish I knew you in person. We've been best friends for 3 or 4 years now. I love that she sends me the longest messages I've ever gotten before. They make me feel special that she spent time of her life to type up a long message just to send to me. I like it when she vents out her feelings to me. I have a thing for people telling me their feelings. That also makes me feel special. One day we will meet in person and we will be great friends! I promise, when I get minutes on my phone you are the very first person I'm going to text. I love you, T! Long distance besties(:

Kevin Dehner. This boy is my entire world. I would not be the person I am right now without him by my side. I can honestly say that he saved me from depression. He's somebody I can go to for help and he listens to all of my problems and helps me with them. I can cry to him when I need to. He's probably the only person who will ever trust me with all his heart. He is the most amazingest person I have ever met in my entire life. He's changed me, but for the better. I can honestly say that he's the one. I can never picture myself with somebody else. He has to be it. He weird and I love it. He's strange and random and so lovable. He is the type of guy that tons of girls with die for. He's soooo nice. He makes promises to me and he keeps them. He's always honest with me and gives direct criticism when he needs to. He's the one. I just know it. I know it's only been 8 months but I believe in fate and destiny. It was fate that we just so happened to meet and it's our destiny to stay together. We've been through so much together though. So much. His family loves me. All of them. They trust us too unlike my family. Kevin. He has my entire heart locked away. His hugs get me high and his kisses get me drunk. He's my addiction. He's irresistible. I have so much more to say about him but I'm saving it for a post that I'm getting ready to do. I love him so much with all my heart and all my soul and everything that I am.
Jarrod Garrison. I haven't known him for too long. Maybe two months. He is my favorite neighbor. He actually comes over unlike some neighbors that go by the name of Aaron. I like making new friends and just knowing that we're gonna become best friends. Then I also love it when I find out that live next to me. Jarrod is a little cutie pie :D He lies it when I tickle him :P I sit next to this boy every day at lunch. I pet his hair and scratch his back. He's really funny too. He's also really shy but he has opened up a lot to me now. He calls me his bestest friend! SUCCESS! I liked hanging out with him at the mall. He also gives good hugs. He's fun to hug! He drew smiley faces on my shoes -_- Jarrod calls me weird and strange. He says that I'm weird and strange in the good way though. He's such a nice guy! Him and Kathleen make a cute couple. He's gonna make her really happy. Jarrod is shy though. But he blushes and it's so cute :DD First time I've vere seen a guy blush. He has really good taste in music, also. I swear we are long lost cousins cause him last name is my mom's maiden name. Jarrod-Chan! I love you, no homo! Thanks for being my little buddy.

Special thanks to my other good firends:
Mariah Wright.
Chealea Philpot.
Alex Grouios.
Michaela Smith.
Crystallynn Howlett.
Amanda Hudson.
Allison Humbert.
Chrissy Mullins.
Travis Pancake.
Kathleen Frank.
Bridget Evans.
Kelsey Ross.
Megan Jordan.
Thank you for being there for me. I love you all <3

Friday, November 12, 2010

My deepest apologies.

I'm sorry. I really am. I keep forgetting to blog. Well, I don't forget completely. I tell myself almost everyday that I'm going to go straight home and blog. I end up getting side tracked and just forget about it. I don't mean to forget I just have this disease called laziness. I don't know who I caught it from but it's extremely contagious. Doctors have no cure. Since I have not blogged in forever, I will try to make this a long update blog. Key word: try. When is the last time I blogged? October 30th? Okay then I have a lot to tell you all. Halloween was mine and Kevin's 7 months. Though even though it's a couple weeks late, I thought I'd tell you that. Last weekend I went over to Amber's house. She really wanted me to do my emo bangs so I had to cut my hair the night before. She told me to wear my cutest emo clothes, so I did. Does it make any sense that she wanted me to look hott so that the guy she likes will like her? I didn't think so but that's what she wanted. I wore my 2 cutest outfits. I can actually say I looked hott. I was so excited to finally go to Amber's house again. I haven't been over there since March. MARCH! When I was over there in March I remember I was on Amber's laptop. I was on Facebook. I remember that she came over to me and we were looking through my friends list. She saw a cute boy and clicked on his page. Of course it was Kevin, though I didn't even know he existed then. She poked him. When I got home I was thinking about my time at Amber's and remembered the cute boy. I went onto his profile and seen that he had put his number as his status a while back. Of course I took it and texted him. So I guess I should thank Amber for me and Kevin being together. She was a big part of it. Plus, ever since then, me and Kevin has had a poke war going on. Back to the subject, I was at Amber's last weekend. It was cold as hell and I was in fish nets. I have this thing where I will not wear a jacket even if it's -30 degrees outside if I look cute. I don't know why but I guess I'd rather die than have my cute outfit clashed by a jacket. Amber likes to go up to the park. A lot. Later that Friday night, Pancake came over! Cute little Pancake XD lol. I don't know if you knew this, but I am a very gullible person. I will believe almost anything. Pancake even warned me that he's good at deceiving people. Well it started when he was playing with my hair. I love it when people play with my hair. So I let him play with my hair. Then he pulled back my hair and licked my ear..... It was disgusting. Later on he licked my head, my cheek, my nose and then he tried to lick up my nose but he ended up licking the tip of my lip and my nose. I think he has a licking problem. He left around 11. Then I slept on the chair. Amber has the cutest lizard I've ever seen. Her name is Sparkles! She used to be Zachy-kun's. On Saturday I looked really cute. I did my bangs and wore a super cute emo outfit. I drew stitches on my face near my eye with eye liner. It looked great. Amber wanted something on hers too, so she drew a heart near her eye. Then Amanda wanted something too so she drew a teardrop. All because I looked hott XD Well then we went to the mall. It was so much fun! I was there with Amber, Amanda, Amanda's boyfriend Eric, His twin Ryan, Pancakey, Jarrod-Chan!, Kathleen, Kevin, and Taylor. It was fun. I started making plans with Jarrod-Chan to go to the mall with him and Kathleen last Wednesday but I couldn't because I was going to Amber's, but I ended up hanging out with him at the mall anyways! What a coincidence. I love it when things like that happen. Pancake licked Kevin's ear...... I though it was hilarious lol. But I don't think Kevin likes Pancake very much. Kevin bought me ice cream! I love ice cream. We later left and went back to Amber's house. We didn't really do much more the rest of the day but hang out and stuff. We ate, if that counts. I got picked up around 10. We went to McDonalds. I went home and talked to Kevin. I don't really remember anything else from Amber's house. But I love it over there. OH! I do remember one thing. Almost everybody in that house was sick. Now I am sick. Greeeeeat. On Sunday I went to my Band Banquet. It was alright. Not as much fun as I thought it would be. Then I went over to Kevin's. I had fun. My week wasn't very interesting at all. Monday we got club pictures taken for the yearbook. I found out that I got the highest score on my French test. 60/60. Yay for cramming! Tuesday my curse continues. I wake up late, miss the bus, didn't straighten my hair much, looked crappy all day, and was whiney and cranky for the rest of the day. Wednesday I had the stupid PLAN test in morning. Why would you take practice ACT tests when you're a Sophomore? Shouldn't you take practice OGT's? It makes a lot more sense. After school I went home with Kevin. He had to go Meijer to finish up getting hired. I ended up walking around Meijer for 2 hours with David, gramma and grampa. I do like his family though. They're really nice and funny. Afterwards we went home and hung out. I went home at about 8 30. Thurday we had a parade. It wasn't as bad as I though though. It was only about a mile. But it sucks that it was hot out during the day and during band we went outside and marched a mile on the track. I was wearing slippers and pajama pants. Do you know how hard it is to march a mile when your shoes keep almost falling off while dancing plus over heating at the same time? Not easy. Yesterday was alright. Kevin had his first day at work and didn't get off til 10. I was so bored. Today was super boring. Kevin had to work 11-7. He's probably just about to get off because it's 6 57. I've been so bored all day. He called me on both of his breaks and on his lunch though so that's good. Honestly, I don't want Kevin to work. I don't want to share him. I want him all to myself but I know that he's gonna be 17 in a month and he needs to get a job. I need a hobby. Something to do on the days that he's working. Of course I can't get a job cause I'm 15 and the only places that would hire me didn't accept my applications. So I need a hobby. I'm also glad that he has a job. It will teach him responsibility and he won't be complaining that he's broke anymore. Speaking of him turning 17, his birthday is on December 8th. I've literally known what to get him since April. I think that it will be the best gift ever. First of all, I'm broke. I gotta get money somehow. Let's see, What else should I talk about. It was either my last post or the post before, but I mentioned that the Color guard is all whores. I would like to apologize for to the color guard. I was just upset and venting out my feelings. You aren't all whores. I actually am friends with some of you. I do admit that I dislike a few but that doesn't mean you're whores. I'm sorry. Speaking of whores, I used to be close to this girl. We were best friends. Well our friendship ended when I told her that her boyfriend wasn't right for her. A couple weeks later, I got together with Kevin. She told me that we weren't going to last a while. Here it is about 8 months later. She's been through 3 other guys since that first one and I'm still with Kevin. And who did you say won't last a while? Us? Or were you just talking about yourself? You can't even keep a boyfriend. In other news, Kevin just called me and told me that he's off work now. He doesn't have to work Tuesday, Wednesday, or tomorrow. So I plan on going over there tomorrow. I'm beginning to run out of things to talk about. Here is the conversation I had with my mom before she left a little bit ago: Mom- "We'll be back in a little bit, Don't let anyone in" Me- "k" 2 minutes later she knocks at the door. I look out the door window Me- (jokingly)"I'm sorry, I'm not aloud to let anybody in. You'll have to come back later" She laughed and told me to let her in so I opened up the door and let her in. Me- "I thought you said I'm not aloud to let anyone in?" Mom- "You're aloud to let me in" Me- "So if daddy were to knock on the door...." Mom-"You're not aloud to let strangers in" Me- "Sooo what you're saying is, I can have a party as long as I know everybody who's here?" Mom- "No, Karen." I though that was a funny conversation. Earlier I watched the movies The uninvited. It was alright. It had a stupid ending though. I hate movies with stupid endings. It was kinda scary though. Now I'm making brownies because I'm home alone. I've been crazing ice cream since forever but I haven't got any :/ I'm pretty sure I'm out of things to talk about. I'll blog soon!