It all started with two pervs.

I shower naked.

I want a pet hobo. And a squirrel. But that's not the point. Do squirrels eat spaghetti? I don't like spaghetti. But that's because the sauce is crap and I hate noodles. Hold crap, I freakin love pool noodles. They are fun to fill with water then blow out one end and splash the water into peoples faces. Faces look weird. How come the noses are such a weird shape? They're big and get in the way of kisses. Mmmmm kisses(: Today me and Kevin were laying on a rock in a creek kissing. It was fun. It was sooo cute. Wanna know whats cute? Kittens. Baby Kittens. Their little tails are absolutely adorable. I want a tail. But then it would be weird to sit. But cat ears would be much cooler. Cause then I could gauge my cat ear and be the coolest cat in the alley ;) Alley's are scary. Some guy will drag you back there and rape you so I'd watch your back if I were you. Rapers are such creeps. Creeps are cool though. Snow is really cool though. Literally, its like freezing. I hate snow. But that's because I really just don't like the cold. I love it when my hands are cold but then I go and hold hands with Kevin and his hands are really warm. Gives me a fuzzy feeling inside. I like fuzzy socks. They keep my feet nice and warm. But then I hate it when I wear socks to bed and I wake up and one or both of my socks are missing. Where do they go?!?!? Dreamland. They fall into my dreams while I'm sleeping. Or they dig through my skull, into my brain, and hide there until they get bored. Either one works. I love how in scary movies they sometimes drill into people heads. Its pretty sweet. Mmmm Ice cream is sweet too. I like the good kind. Wanna know whats good? Fritos. I once had a great aunt names Frita and she died so I'd always call her frito. Fritos's are salty. I love salt. I pour mountains of it on everything. Mountains make me think of sky lifts. When I'm in Tennessee I always go on a sky lift and I like to count how many shoes I see while we go up the mountain. Then we take pictures and I'm afraid I'll drop the camera. Camera's are fun to play with. I like to take videos on them of my friends cause then if I catch a funny moment I can go back and make that part a picture. I used to want to be a Photographer so I would always carry my camera with me everywhere and take pictures of nature. Speaking of nature I want an ant farm. I mean, I used to have one. We had this old cooler and it was filled with sand so I put some rocks and plants and stuff in there and I gathered up a good 100 big black ants. They were fun to watch. Then a couple days later after watching them non stop I got bored with them. Then I drowned them all. Dead ants. I accidentally killed my hamster once. Her name was Delilah and she looked so hungry and I was eating a Vanilla Waffer so I gave her a little piece of one. Poor thing died the next day. I didn't really cry because I knew why she died. I like crying sometimes. It feels good to cry every now and then. Though I cry alot so I don't really feel any better. I hate it when I cry near my friends and they all freak out and give me lame patty hugs. I hate pat hugs. Why pat backs? Its a good thing Kevin doesn't do that or I'd slap him. Haha. He squeezes sometimes during hugs and I like that. Kevin always makes me think of cats. He's just like a cat. I want fur like a cat. That would be awesome. But I wouldn't wanna be all hairy. Kevin's hair feels so soft just like a cat. Why do I keep bringing Kevin up? Oh that's right, because I love him [: But yeah hair. My hair takes around an hour to do in the morning before school. I get up at 5:15 and the bus comes and 6:33. Yeah that sucks.... Half the time I wake up late at 6. Then my hair looks like crap. But I gotta a boyfriend now I don't have to look good every day. He says he doesn't care if I look good or not he loves me just the way I am. So if I wore hobo rags to school, no makeup, shaved my head bald, He wouldn't care? I should try that one day. Well I kinda need my hair.... Its cute. I also need gauges. My ears used to be a size 4 gauges but my parents made me take them out. Now I'm getting a bunch of gauges and I'll re gauge them in like a year or two. I hate looking up gauges on like google or yahoo. It comes up as car crap. I don't think I wanna gauge my ears with the needle detector things on cars that apparently are called gauges. I was looking up pictures of ear gauges on google and I saw pictures of people who would gauge their noses, backs of their necks, lip, eye brow, and crazy stuff like that. It was awsssoooommmmeeeee!! :D Though it would gross out other people. I'm strong(: I'm obsessed with piercings. And I love to see guys with a bunch of tattoos. You all know Oli Sykes, Right? Ha! If you don't your stupid. He is like the hottest man alive. Though I wouldn't want to say that on here cause Kevin will most likely read this... Sorry Kevin.... Well you probably think some girl is the hottest girl alive too so yeah..... But yeah Oli Sykes. He has emo hair and his entire body tattooed. He has this one tattoo on his knuckles and it says "Drop Dead" With random symbols under it like @ and $ and a heart and a umbrella and stuff like that. I have that picture up on my wall ;) He is also the lead screamo for Bring Me The Horizon. One of the most amazing screamo bands out there. I love screamo. It calms me down when I go psycho. Screams are like a lullaby to my ears. Though Kevin has me hooked on Fall Out Boy right now. I know that aren't screamo but they are still really amazing! (: I'm going back to piercings for a minute. I want Zombie piercings. Don't know what they are? Hopefully you know the terms for piercings cause I'm just gonna tell you the fancy names for them. Its when you have Angel bites, Snake bites, Limbreh pierced, and the middle of the top lip all pierced. So that's 6 piercings around the lips. Well if I had Zombie piercings I would put string through the rings and it would look like my lips are sewn shut. I couldn't kiss like that though. I'm not THAT crazy to get zombie piercings though. I want my limbreh done though when I'm older. And double zero gauges. I hate it when people say that I'm stupid for gauging my ears and that gauges are stupid and they hate gauges. I can't stand that. Can't they keep their opinion to themselves? I mean, yeah, I know that The first amendment says freedom of speech but if they get freedom of speech then I think I could get Freedom of bash peoples faces in with toasters when they tick you off. Yeah I think that would work just fine. I have a long hit list. Its more like a book than a list. I have grudges all the way back from fourth grade. Then I memorize who it is and what they did. I'm the type to keep a grudge. I even have grudges against my own best friends. I keep that to myself though. When I'm around them I try not to attack them. I hate meeting new people. I'll stick with them. They start crap alot but they're fun and random and they make me happy. I love my friends. I love my boyfriend. I love life [for the most part] I'm sure everybody has those days when they just wanna curl up like a ball in a corner, Cry their eyes out, And cut themselves. Yeah it happens. That's alright. Kevin always seems to cheer me up anyways. I try to stay mad at someone and he just has to go and make me laugh. I'm on facebook reading the groups that I've joined. Funny stuff. Pony tails are for whores. I hate them. Hair always looks better down. I don't care what anyone says about that, its true. Charlie the Unicorn cracks me up. Ever heard of Destery and Nathan? If you wanna laugh your butts off at hilarious jokes and pervertedness and stuff go to Youtube right now. I mean it. Type in Desandnate and click on their channel. Funniest dudes on the planet, I swear. Though be warned they are pervs and foul mouths ;) I've watched all their videos like 10 times each. Now I wanna watch them again. I wanna go to Walmart with a group of friends. Don't know why.... Just wanna. I love natural pockets. If your female you know what I'm talking about. haha. safest place to put stuff nowadays. Yeah well I'm running out of things to say. And I feel like I'm talking to myself so I'm out. Peace.

Hate is a strong word.

I hate slow texters. I hate short texts. I hate it when people only send lol. I hate thunderstorms. I hate wasps. I hate coke. I HATE guys that want sex. I hate people who can't keep a secret. I hate family gatherings. I hate when the sun is too bright. I hate coldness. I hate sluts who wear tank tops that show too much cleavage and short shorts that show too much legs. I hate bright colors. I hate catchy rap songs. I hate learning new things. I hate being proved wrong. I hate bad spelling. I hate it when people pat backs during hugs. I hate hair if its off of a head. I hate Spanish. I hate guys that play with hearts. I hate shots. I hate people who go hunting. I hate diets. I hate jocks who are full of themselves. I hate singing in front of people. I hate snow. I hate long nails. I hate white people who say they're black. I hate tan. I hate zits. I hate green food. I hate cleaning. I hate homework. I hate country music. I hate it when guys think they're better than girls. I hate the past. I hate raccoons. I hate it when lights flicker. I hate it when my straightener doesn't heat up fast enough. I hate boring people. I hate talking to people I don't know. I hate the idea of college. I hate swim suits that show too much. I hate girls that flaunt it all. I hate books with too many words. I hate sarcasm. I hate video game addicts. I hate the color green. I hate waking up late and having to rush. I hate it when my hair won't straighten. I hate wind on a good hair day. I hate awkward conversations. I hate loud birds. I hate jellyfish. I hate cold showers. I hate models. I hate movies with bad endings. I hate arguments. I hate little kids. I hate babies. I hate lame roller coasters. I hate people who say they think gauges are disgusting. I hate it when people talk about this so called "god". I hate religious people. I hate barking dogs. I hate parentals. I hate guys that make no effort with a girl. I hate seafood. I hate guns. I hate guys who pressure girls into sex. I personally hate the whole idea of sex. I hate getting called a poser. I hate crosses. I hate bad hair days. I hate calicks. I hate pony tails. I hate posers. I hate labels. I hate scene chicks. I hate people who dye their hair alot. I hate empty stomachs. I hate quiet music. I hate cheerleaders. I hate annoying beeping noises. I hate nail polish. I hate vinegar. I hate pecs. I hate muscles (I want some meat on my man. lol). I hate veggies. I hate rich kids. I hate smelly cologne. I hate old lady perfume. I hate it when strangers smile at me. I hate stories about rapists. I hate tight shirts. I hate getting my hopes up for them to only come crashing down. I hate being sick. I hate skinny chicks. I hate loud cars. I hate meeting new people. I hate Christmas and Easter (pointless to an Atheist). I hate Greek mythology. I hate school breaks. I hate waking up early. I hate gross tastes in mouth. I hate boring music. I hate getting told what to do. I hate seniors boss you around. I hate fitting in. I hate being like everyone else. I hate it when I don't stand out. I hate silence. I hate getting scared. I hate red heads. I hate freckles. I hate blurry pictures that would've been cute. I hate alot of foods. I hate it when I have Pancakes but no Syrup. I hate Horses. I hate Monkeys. I hate Dolphins. I hate it when the guy is always different around their friends. I hate when you try to play a game with your friends but they keep telling stories and you never finish the game. I hate my body. I hate loud noises. I hate when my phone has no service. I hate crying in front of my parents. I hate having periods. I hate tampons. I hate barbeque's stuff. I hate when the bottom of my shoes are muddy. I hate being outside alone at night. I hate flying insects. I hate bright lights turned out right when its dark. I hate blacking out. I hate memory loss. I hate the thought of growing up. I hate failing. I hate boring books. I hate anything that has to do with the Twilight Saga. I hate sexual songs. I hate melted ice cream. I hate clubs. I hate shorts. I hate temptations to cut myself. I hate wind chimes. I hate when my pets die. I hate scary friends' parents. I hate being alone outside. I hate time limits. I hate eating out of boredom. I hate when the computer freezes. I hate chick flicks. I hate soap operas. I hate running. I hate sports. I hate my prepaid phone. I hate getting yelled at. I hate crying for no reason. I hate when I have no privacy. I hate getting grounded. I hate when my parents try to control my life. I hate when my parents try and read my texts. I hate knowing something I shouldn't of known then feeling like crap. I hate it when I go through the trouble of looking cute on a special day and nobody says a word about it. I hate wearing a cute emo outfit and getting stared at. I hate getting asked if I cut myself. I hate getting assumed that I cut myself due to my beastly emo hair. I hate fights. I hate pants that don't fit quite right. I hate not having any good food to eat in the house. I hate being sick and not being able to sing. I hate when I turn my friends screamo. I hate when its my birthday in the middle of the summer and nobody tells me happy birthday. I hate when the radio repeats the same gross songs over and over. I hate Miley Cyrus with a passion. I hate when girls obsess over blue eyes. I hate when girls obsess over guys chests and pecs. I hate when guys have six packs. I hate it when my Clarinet squeaks. I hate when my reed won't compromise with me. I hate not knowing how to dance. I hate Hamburger Helper. I hate when markers run out of ink while your coloring. I hate it when I'm playing with chalk on concrete and scratch my finger along it like 10 times. I hate the last bit of pop in 2 liters. I hate not wanting to get out of bed in the morning. I hate not being able to get comfy. I hate moving and then going back to how you were so comfortable before but then I can't figure out how to get so comfy again. I hate falling asleep in the middle of movies. I hate stubbing my foot on something. I hate feet. I hate shaking. I hate when my plants die. I hate sweat. I hate the hard parts in pieces of pineapple. I hate having a big plan and it not turning out how I saw it. I hate it when Myspace and Facebook spazzes out. I hate the smell of fish. I hate being on boats. I hate swimming in Oceans. I hate traveling 20 hours by car. I hate seeing people go back to someone who hurt them eighty times. I hate curly hair. I hate jokes that don't make me laugh. I hate gossip about people I care about. I hate girls with guy names. I hate when dogs lick my face. I hate when I'm twirling my hair and it gets all tangly. I hate cramps. I hate being lazy. I hate waking up from a nap gross, hot, and sweaty. I hate sexual guys. I hate not being able to eat just one of anything sweet. I hate not being able to focus on schoolwork. I hate split ends. I hate alot more than that but this is just what was on the top of my head.

Holy Crap.

Okay so one of my best best friends, Whitley, randomly said hey I'm gonna make you a sign. I thought she meant like make me a picture with my name on it cause we're in the middle of a drawing war. (longgg story). Nope. I was wrong. She took this superrr cute picture that says Screamo Emo. It goes perfectly with my blog because my page is Thescreamoemo.blogspot.com Its the first time anyone has ever made a sign for me(: I feel so loved. But I just wanted to put it on here so here ya go! I love you Whitley! :DDD

Kiss and Tell? Nahhh ;)

So I went to Kevin's today around 4 30 ish. Left at midnight. I got to meet his parents for the first time! and this grandparents and uncle. They are all superrr nice :DDD I felt like family with them(: I hope I get to see them again real soon(: Ya know how I didn't leave out any details about the Lock In? Yeah well I'm gonna leave most of the details out about tonight(: Mainly because its nearly 2 AM and I just don't feel like typing all of it! XD So much had happened tonight. We all went out to eat at Friches [: Sure, When I first got there it was nervous, quiet, awkwardness. Then came cuddling. Cuddling always seems to take my nervousness away. (That and kissing :P ) Cause I feel so natural and I feel like in his arms is where I belong for the rest of my life. I know what your thinking. It has been a week and I already love him to death. You think its crazy right? Well its true. It is crazy. But I'm crazy about him so its all goood(: I'm gonna try not to bore you with my love life :P This is my 4th Blog about Kevin and I'm sure your tired of hearing about it :P I like blogging about him but I guess people get tired of hearing about it cause I'm driving my friends nuts with talking about him so much XD so I'll try not to blog about him for a while. Well.... maybe.... (: But anyways.... We have a very unique way of kissing and I love it(: Its not the normal way people make out. But who wants to be the same? Unique-ness is awesome(: I like to peek out while kissing him. lol. It was cold so we cuddled under a blanky(: I could've sworn I was gonna fall asleep. GAHHHHH!!!! He makes my head spin :D I'm gonna be by his side untill he gets tired of me cause I'm not gonna get tired of him(: And if that happens to be forever, then so be it! (: I'll try not to make blogs all about Kevin cause whomever is reading this is probably bored out of their minds so.... I guess this is it(: (Well for now.) I'm gonna think of something while I'm sleeping to blog about. Any ideas? Not really, cause all I have in mind is Kevin [:

You Live and You Learn.

~If you have a secret, Hide it well.
~Don't fall for someone who isn't willing to catch you.
~Never fall for more than one guy at once.
~Gauging your ears hurts extremely much.
~You friends WILL get annoyed if you talk about your boyfriend/girlfriend nonstop
~Punching somebody in the face at school will cause you to get in trouble.
~Hurting yourself also hurts the ones close to you.
~If you have emo hair people will assume you want to kill yourself.
~Talking back to your parents will cause you to get grounded.
~Don't put off everything til the last minute.
~If you like a guy and he ignores you, chances are he's not interested.
~Pretending to be sick doesn't work these days.
~Size 6 gauges won't pass as ordinary earrings.
~Normally all the really hott guys are already taken.
~"Sorry that was my last piece of gum" is almost always a lie.
~Don't fall for an army guy.
~Girls will use you just like guys.
~If your charger has 12 knots in it, most likely your phone isn't gonna charge.
~Tattoos are forever, Guys are whatever.
~Dating long distance sucks.
~If your not over someone, Don't date someone else.
~If friends see your hurt they will ask alot of annoying questions.
~When math teachers say "You'll need this in the future" it probably won't be needed.
~Usually the girl wears the pants in relationships.
~Those girls who say "I hate drama" start alot of it.
~"Sorry I forgot my homework at home" usually means "Sorry I didn't do it but I'm stalling for more time"
~If you look around and somebody is staring at you, They either like you or you look weird.
~If you don't pay attention and expect to pass, your wrong.
~Don't think that makeup is invincible.
~Staring at the clock to make time go faster normally makes time go by slower.
~Usually you get a huge, noticeable zit on a very important day.
~Girls sometimes cry just so the guy would hold them tight.
~When you clean your room, you'll get distracted by the cool stuff you thought you had lost.
~If something says do not swallow.... its probably not good to swallow it....
~Guys like sluts because they're sluts. Nothing else.
~Everyone has something to say about one another. (Cheerleader walks past girl dressed in all black) C- "Emo Freak" G- "Slutty Whore"
~"I'm right" "No your not" "I'm definatly right" "No your really not" "I'm right!!!! oh..... nevermind..."

(Add some? comment.)

What If.

If I said I was falling for you,
Would you catch me,
If I start crying?
Would you hold me tight?
It I make you angry,
Would you forgive me?
If I go on a rampage,
Would you kiss me and say it'll be alright?
If I get cold,
Would you wrap me up in your jacket?
If another guy was hitting on me,
Would you punch him and say I'm all yours?
If tears start rolling down my cheeks,
Would you wipe them away?
If a beautiful girl walked by,
Would you ignore her?
If I start to feel insecure,
Would you say I'm the only one for you?
If I said I Love You,
Would you say I Love You too?

Lock In.

Okay, I know I said I was gonna blog about the Lock In on Friday but I kinda slept the day away and was lazy. So it's Saturday, Yesterday was the Lock In.... and I've gotta say that it was the best nine hours of my life!(: So you all know Kevin, right? Wow. That boy has my entire heart(: Okay I'll start at the beginning. So before the Lock In I went over to Whitley's and stuff around six. We got ready together and she made sure I looked good ;) Then when we got there I was freaking out. I was so nervous but I was super excited. So I hung around with Whitley and we walked around a little then went in the gym and sat for a while. Kevin got there and we hugged and just sat there. I was nervous big time. Then we were told to go out onto the gym floor so we did. It was surprising that they had a screamo band. But anyways we went out there. Within the first 15 minutes of the Lock In during the mosh pitting A guy's arm broke in half. I couldn't help thinking that it was awesome. lol. He didn't look hurt he was just staring at it and ran out of the gym. Likewise, Everyone followed. Whitley started walking out there to get a glimpse so me and Kevin followed. Held hands(: So that happened. Then we went into the computer lab and sat down in freakin sweet spinny chairs(: Still holding hands. Zack said we're a cute couple(: I love being told that me and Kevin are a cute couple. Lets me know that we're meant to be(: but anyways after a while in there we went walking a little and we sat down with his friends in the cafeteria. He has weird friends lol :P But they started to play cards. Eventually everyone just gave up. After that we pretty much just followed Whitley around to the computer lab and stuff. The Lock In had some weird games. Duck duck goose. Musical Chairs. Twister. Lots of board games. people got their faces painted. I liked the computer lab cause it was dark and the music was blasted up(: We spent a little time hanging out with people in the computer lab. Hugging alot. Whitley was having fun flirting with Bobby and Zack ;) Me and Kevin then went and kept walking back and forth between the cafeteria and the computer lab holding hands for like a half hour. I love holding hands(: so around that time it was like midnight or one. Hell if I know. I was trying to keep my mind offa the time so it didn't' go by fast. Meanwhile, me and Kevin went into the top of the gym and cuddled(: It was so nice to be in the arms of the love of my life. He was nice and cozy(: I just wanted to fall asleep then and there(: Whitley came by from the computer lab and took a picture of us then left. The gym was loud and there was alot of people but being in Kevin's arms just made me feel so safe and secure as if it was only me and him there. It was like that whole night just belonged to us. I didn't realize how nice it would be to be in a serious relationship. I'm so happy I'm with Kevin. He makes me smile and laugh. He's the nicest guy I've ever met. He's such a sweetheart. He gives me butterflies and I always wanna be with him. I Love him with all my heart. Sorry.... kinda got off topic there(: But back to the story. We were cuddling til about two in the morning. Then he was really tired and stuff. He wanted to take a nap so he layed down on the concrete. I told him he could use my lap as his pillow and he did(: It was sooo friken cute! He then fell asleep and I moved all the hair out of his face so it wouldn't bother him while he was sleeping (cause I know it bothers him when he's not sleeping) And I just kept stroking his head all while he slept. I thought it might make him sleep better cause I sleep good when my dad randomly stokes my head. Of course I had to be a stalker and watch him sleep :P Well I looked around and made sure nobody would wake him. About 6 people tried to but I shooed them away. While he was sleeping he reminded me of a kitty(: All curled up, and I was petting him(: His hair was so soft just like a kittens. He was like a kitty wanting some love. I could defiantly picture him with Cat ears and whiskers =^.^= Its not a bad thing though cause I love cats. Just saying how adorable he was when he was sleeping(: But if he's a cat then he's my cat. Any girl goes near him and they'll "accidentally" get a bullet in the face ;) I really wanted to kiss his forehead while he was sleeping but I just kept hesitating and getting nervous and I was texting Whitley about how I really want to but I didn't have the guts to. About an hour later he woke up and we cuddled some more. At that time it was around 3:30 or so. Then out of nowhere Whitley, Talor, and Zack came out of nowhere and appeared sitting next to us. Lol they were acting crazy. Kevin had his head on my shoulder and I thought it would be cute if I kissed his head. After I kissed his head he brought up his head and kissed my cheek. Wasn't expecting that one. He layed his head back on my shoulder and I really wanted Whitley to see that. So I got her attention and I kissed his head again. Right when he kissed my cheek she had got distracted and looked away. So I did it a third time and she saw it that time and she said If you had only turned your head a little you guys would've kissed. Well after that we walked to the computer lab holding hands(: He sat down in one of the spinny chairs and I went behind him and wrapped my arms around him(: It was cute! and he was holding my arms and stuff(: So I kissed his head a bunch while I was up there and he's just like It's not fair I can't do anything while I'm down here! And I'm like that's the point cause its fair for me :P And I just kept kissing his head(: After a while he stood up and we hugged a bunch then some random guy joined in our hug and ruined it. lol. But anyways, We went walking around for a good 45 minutes or so holding hands (of course). Then he noticed that his phone was dying so we went into the cafeteria by the windows to charge it. We leaned against the walls, holding hands, then we hugged. After the hug he had his arm around my waist and I had my hand on his shoulder cause he was leaning against the wall. It was almost 5 then. We were sad because the Lock In was coming to an end. We were hugging a bunch. Whitley came into the Cafe and went over and sat with Bobby. We hugged again but the time I kissed his head. Then when we stopped hugging he kissed my cheek. Then I wanted to kiss him again so I kissed his cheek and he kissed mine back. Well I kinda stopped for a while. I wanted to kiss him so bad. Then I told him "I was gonna kiss your lips but I kinda hesitated" He looked at me and I looked at him. Our eyes met. He smiled and said "You can if you want to" I don't know about him but at that moment I thought time had stopped. There was a spark right then and there that I've never felt before. So we both leaned in and kissed. It was so amazing. Everytime I think about it I turn red and my head goes spinning. That was my first kiss. It seems like a dream now and I still can't believe it but I'm so happy that I had my first kiss with Kevin. He's my first real serious boyfriend and that boy has my entire heart. I'm in love with Kevin. He's the type of guy who you want to spend your entire life with. After we kissed I couldn't help but smile and he hugged me tight(: I pulled out my phone to look at the time. I had my very first kiss with Kevin Anthony Dehner on April 2nd, 2010. 5:04 AM. Whitley was the only person who got to watch my very first kiss. What a creeper ;) After a while of standing there hugging and stuff it was time to go.... Kevin said so its probably not a good idea to kiss in front of your dad? and I said hmmm.... we'll kiss before we go out the door(: Whitley came over and really wanted to leave and was rushing us out the door. I didn't want to leave Kevin for a week for spring break. I held onto him for a couple minutes than he said well we better go. Then he turned to me and said but first.... And we kissed again :D My second kiss with Kevin and it was kinda like a make out kiss. Whitley saw that one too. lol. Then we walked out the door holding hands. I introduced him to my dad as my boyfriend. Well that sure came as a surprise to him. But that way they can get used to the thought of me having a boyfriend. Well I had imagined that I'd get yelled at but after a few days of questions about Kevin they're cool with the idea now. They know he's a serious boyfriend. Before I left I had to hug him though(: We said I love you and I sadly left with only Kevin on my mind. I still can't get my mind off of him and I don't want to(: I love him so much! Lets hope this lasts forever(: Oh and guess what? I might be going to his house on Tuesday to hang out and meet his parents. I'm kinda nervous cause I've never been introduced to a boy's parents before as their girlfriend. This should be interesting! I hope they like me ^.^ Well I'll blog about it soon enough. (3-31-10) <3

Kevin Baby.

Remember the last story of Kevin? Yeah well here's another(: So tomorrow is the Lock In.....(: We're superrrr excited about it cause we get to hang out for nine hours(: Back to the story though. So yesterday we were texting all day (of course) and he randomly asked me if he can be honest with me. Obviously my heart started racing and I told him sure go ahead(: Then he sent me this text saying "Well we have only been talking a few days and I'm starting to like you alot and I was wondering if you would go out with me?" It was so cute(: But what girl likes being asked out over text? I started asking him if that text is real and stuff and we started talking and stuff then I was honest with him and I sent him this really long message about how much I like him and stuff. He's a really shy and nervous guy so I asked him if he thinks he has the guts to ask me out at school today. He said stuff like yeah he can but he can't do it around my friends (adds pressure) We decided that he would ask me out again today :D I was so freaking happy(: I'm pretty sure we all know what my answer was gonna be ;) I just didn't want to be asked out over text. So I planned this whole thing out that night about how I'm gonna say yes. I thought we would be in a classroom during lunch sitting down and stuff. nope. He asked me out at the very beginning of lunch right in the middle of the hall. He's so unpredictable(: lol. Well then after that I threw down my binder and my purse and stuff and I hugged him. It was soooo cute! I said yes while we were hugging (: Then we stood there hugging for like 5 minutes. literally. And what do you know, Whitley was standing there staring at us the whole time. Haha(: Well then we went to the room with all my friends. Nobody told me what the first day of going out is like. I always thought it'd be something like "hey" "hi" "how are you?" "good" "that's good" Well I never had an actual serious boyfriend before. I mean, Yeah I've dated like 6 guys, but none of them took it seriously. Kevin, on the other hand, when we went walking with Whitley to the locker he put his arm around my waste and I put mine around his(: Wasn't expecting that one ferr suree. Then we walked into the computer lab just like that (That's where all his friends hang out and stuff) We got stared at by everyone there. It was freaky. I loved it(: We went back to the room after that and we sat on the desks like we all do at lunch. Everyone was just talking and being crazy and stuff. Then he randomly layed his head on my shoulder. Then He wrapped his arms around my tummy. Wow(: I was sure that my heart was gonna burst right out of my chest. Whitely took pictures(: They're soo cute! Dudeee.... Kevin smells so good! He's adorable. He's says and does thee cutest things! He's so random though(: You'll never know what he does next. I love him so much(: 3-31-10(:

Falling in Love.

Falling in love is such an easy thing to do.

So there's this boy....
Okay so the funny thing is, is that about a week ago my sister tried to hook me up with this dude and it didn't work. lol But yesterday he put his number on Facebook so I texted him saying "Its not safe to put your number on Facebook, Creeps might text you :P" and we've been texting literally non stop since. He's the sweetest little thing! He goes to my school and I never really acknowledged his existence until now. He's a sophomore and I'm a freshman. We've been asking each other questions about ourselves and wow....now I really know soooo much about him. In only a day! He's superrrr nice! He's always being a sweetheart to me and telling me nice things and stuff(: He's really funny too! When I'm texting him I get butterflies and When I look at my phone and it says 'One unread message from Kevin' I get all excited and get that bubbly feeling and almost scream his name(: Today at school was so amazing. He wanted to hang out with me at lunch but we were both superrr nervous. Whitley stalked him down and basically dragged him into the room we were all in. Wow she has the guts that I wish I had(: Today we had our first in person conversation and it was great. He was nervous so he didn't talk much but when he did it was amazing(: He gives off this aura of "Stay away from me" But when he's texting he's not nervous so his aura completely flips. Tomorrow will probably be better cause now we're more used to each other(: He's texting me now and he's all excited to hang out with me tomorrow :D wow he's great. He keeps giving me that bubbly feeling. The best way to stop loving somebody is start loving somebody else. At this rate he's gonna make me fall for him <3> bunches of stuff in common(: Did I mention that he's superrr cute? Well he is(: We keep flirting while texting. lol its fun(: Okay so this Thursday is the day before spring break. My school is doing this huge event called the "Lock In" It starts at 9 PM and it ends at 6 AM. Overnight party in the school. Well Kevin asked if I was going but I said no cause I don't think any of my friends are going. He told me that I should go so that we can hang out(: So I asked my parents and I might be able to go! (: but I'm super nervous because I've never spent that much time with a guy and he really wants to hang out with me. This should be good right? Well I'll blog about it on Friday(: Stay tuned! :DDD

My best friends.

My friends are my life. Literaly! They mean everything to me. And Imma tell you a little about them (cause I know some of them will be reading this) But the only really important ones are the best ones. First of all their is Amber. She is the closest person to me. She seriously knows everything about me. I tell her the secrets that I can't tell the others. She accepted me from the start and we've been best friends since. She's so amazing ly funny. I spend weeks at her house and I'm still not tired of it! I wanna live there. Her mom loves me and she wants to adopt me but my parents won't let her. lol. Amber is really nice. She will joke around though but the fun kind of joking around(: She is a hugggeeee pervert! But of course, in the funny way. I love how we're never mad at eachother and she doesn't judge me unlike all the others. She moved in with her mom at the begining of the school year but not too far so every chance I get I go over there(: When she moved, she taught me how to stand on my own two feet. She gave me the confidence I needed to help me through my freshmen year (cause we all know how hard it is to start high school) I absolutly love their family. They so nice! And wayyy exciting! You never know what's gonna happen next cause her younger sister is a juvinile delinquint. But I love them all(: though I could live without her chihuahua attacking me every time I go over there. I love you girl!.....Okay, Then there's Whitley. Whitley's the type where she will be friends with anybody unlike Amber who trys to stay out of friendship (I'm the exception(: ) She has so many friends so its hard to talk when she's around all of us. But she's really nice(: She's a perv too but Amber is a much bigger perv. haha. Somehow I seem to attract pervs cause all my friends are pervs! I've only spent the night at her house twice but its fun(: Ha, all we do is sit around, text, and sleep. I don't really like having friends over to my house cause my parents are psychos. Whitley and I went through Marching Band season together(: We decorated our Clarinets and ticked off all of the skanks in band(: It was fun! But next year she might be joining the stupid color gaurd so that blows.... She's really funny(: but tick her off and your dead! We're trying to fill a wall in her room of my drawings and poems(: Its wicked(: haha. I love you Wit! Then there's Aaron. He's unlike any other guy. He's super sweet! He's sooooo freaking nice. He can seriously make anybody laugh, anytime, no matter what mood they're in. He's amazing. Okay. There's Michaela. She's really nice(: She makes me laugh. She's funny (and a perv) and she's got some crazy long curly hair! Its so pretty! She's a good friend(: And she's single boys ;) Then There's Crystal. Crystal is like genius smart! She gets really good grades and she's nice but she can be mean. She gets ticked at me alot but we always seem to get over it. She's got some crazy hair! crazy as it crazyy!!! Then there's Bridget. She's kinda weird (in the good way) She's so little. lol. She's pretty and nice(: not much of a perv though. We don't talk as much as we used to but that's because nowadays I hang out with Aaron at lunch. There's Mariah. She's really quiet and don't talk much but she's always giggling and smiling. Creep. Haha jk. There's Tristin. She doesn't live in the same state as me. We met on runescape about 3 years ago and been besties since(: We text alot and she is gorgeous(: She keeps changing her hair but change is good. She's really nice and I wish I could know her in person. She makes me laugh alot. She can be moody at times because she's bipolar but it makes things interesting. She told me her life story and its really sad. I won't say it on here cause its personal. Welp.... Those are my besties(: The first 3 are my Best Best Best friends though(: Amber, Whitley, And Aaron. I'd take a bullet for them. Well.... maybe not in the head but in the leg or something..... haha :D My friends are what make me, me. I love you guys!

Future.

Okay so here's the thing. I'm a Freshmen in high school and I have no clue what I want in my future. We keep doing lame career surveys in school and its just making me even more confused. Of course I used to have huge plans. I went through the veterinarian phase. Then there was the dog groomer. Then there was a photographer. Then there was a chef. But honestly I don't know what to do. No jobs suits me at all. I'm not a leader, I can't good, I hate kids, I'm not smart, I'm not good with computers, I can't clean, I have a fear of talking to people I don't know, I'm not good with animals, I can't farm, I can't be a house wife, I'm not good at science, math, english and especially social studies, I can't dance, I can't dance, I hate politics, I can't work in quiet, I can sing but lets grab ahold of reality and take it for a ride, shall we? You need money to be famous. Sure, Everybody wants to famous at some point in their life but not me. I wanna stay out of that drama. Plus being rich is too cliche. Rich people are all snobby and stuck up. (sorry for my steroetyping) I can draw but I can't make a future out of that. And guess what else? I don't enjoy the ideal of college. Honestly I detest it. I don't wanna go to college. When I tell people that they always say "oh thats okay you have 3 more years to decide" but every single one of my friends know what they want to do when they're older. Its make me feel pressured into having to think of what to do. Well I'm tired of thinking about it cause There isn't a job that matches my personality. And I WILL NOT have a job that I don't enjoy. I mean, Whats the point in working all day and coming home feeling like crap? I want to have pride in what I do. But theres the whole college thing..... I don't wanna go. End of story. But seriosuly.... What can I do that I'll like? The one question I fret to answer because the answer is unknown and that one question determines my future.

Liar.

She's trying hard to keep her sane,
She's gently smiling to hide the pain,
They see somethings wrong but they don't ask,
Cause she's a liar behind a mask,

The blade sits coldly beneath her bed,
She says she won't stop until she's dead,
Make up covered scars lie on her wrist,
She doesn't realize that she'd be missed,

Bloodshot eyes from all the crying,
She says she's fine but she's just lying,
She plays with the blade like its a toy,
Seeing all the blood fills her with joy,

She carves the word lies into her arm,
She wants to die but she means no harm,
Stabs the blade in and her wrist won't bend,
She has sliced the vein and its the end,

She is dead and buried in her lies,
She had left without and goodbyes,
A note there but her spirit will go,
She was just another lonely EMO.

I hate you.

I Hate you,
Your nothing in my eyes,
I'm not gonna shed another tear,
You've ruined enough of my life,
I can't take it no longer,
It's either you or me,

Kill me,
Kill me now,
I can't do it by myself,
I don't have the guts,
My actions are hidden,
On my wrist,

Blood,
Theres blood everywhere,
Though it is not mine,
Is it yours?
Did I do it?
Did I kill you?
It's all over the floor,
Your body's cold,
Your throat is slit,
My emotions are hidden,
Beneath this smile,
The trouble's done,
I won't need to shed another tear,
I hate you

I need you.

I need you,
I need you to look at me,
The same way you used to,
I need you,
I need you to tell me,
I'm at least your friend,
I need you,
I need you to talk to me,
As much as you used to,
I need you,
I need you To finally realize,
You mean everything to me,
I need you,
I need you to stop pushing me away,
When I need you the most,
I need you,
I need you to finally realize,
That I'm in love with you.........

Confidence

I wanna be the girl,
Where all eyes are on me,
And I won't be scared,
I wanna be the girl,
Where I can wake up in his arms,
And I won't be nervous,
I wanna be the girl,
Where I can be who I want,
And I won't be judged,
I wanna be the girl,
Where I can say things at the wrong time,
And I won't be embarrased,
I wanna be the girl,
Where I can fall in front of everyone,
And I won't get laughed at,
I wanna be the girl,
Who has the confidence to do anything,
I want to have the confidence,
To be me......

I must die.

Devestation encounters me,
With all its gleaming fears,
Sadness evokes me,
With all its screaming tears,
The wrath of life summons upon me,
It senses the end is near,
You have not felt my torment,
My life must end here,
I yearn for death,
But suicide is not the way,
Just push me off a cliff,
My body with decay.......

You Poser.

That look in your eyes,
It holds a million lies,
The way you smile at me,
The way you let me be,
How you live without a care,
How your never in despaire,
That way you try to impress,
That way you always dress,
Lies, Lies, Lies.

The way you keep your hair,
The way you'd do any dare,
When you flunk out of school,
When you try to be cool,
Why girls are all over you,
Why you don't care what they do,
How you can be such a man whore,
So now tell me,
What are you living for?
Lies, Lies, Lies.
You Poser.

Blogging.

So I'm sitting here at the computer bored like crap. And I'm pretty sure if you have a myspace or facebook (or both) you probably realize that it gets boring after awhile. Of course though at the begining its all fun and exciting cause its something new but once you've sat there and just kept pressing "HOME" to see if you have something new, you finally begin to realize that nobody's gonna send you anything. And then there's the thing on myspace that when you get something new a (1) appears next to your inbox and once you see it your all excited and everything....till you realize it was just an App notification. That sucks. And then on facebook you can't even customize your own profile. Its all colorless and boring. You can join really funny like "The man who discovered milk....What was he doing with that cow?!?" and "Its been like 12 years, That rabbit deserves some freaking Trix already!" But whats the point of those? You laugh, You join, And you never look at them again. I don't even bother with Twitter. It sounds lame to me. I was trying to think of something new to do on the computer.... Not a game like Evoy or Runescape. Or a video thing like youtube and veoh. But something where I can post my thoughts and poetry (and opinions) I post my poetry on my myspace but lets be realistic.....Who bothers to look at your myspace blog? plus those can only reach your friends and I want a bigger audience than that. Of course there's always the chance that nobody will read this.... But it makes me feel good to type out all this. And with this post, I start my blogging!